Wednesday, 9 January 2008

I like to earn my points.

I have been involved in this child-raising lark for some many years.

Not that I am a really old lady or anything but it is over 17 years now, with nine of those here with my own kids, and the one thing I have always held to is actions and consequences. In fact if you offer Babyman & Princess C-W the prompt 'actions', they will undoubtedly respond with 'consequences'. Via don't try this at home I found a mother who really practices what she preaches!

Sometimes I feel a little mean when I look at other parents relating to their childer - lots of laughing, funny games and general silliness but then I think that I would rather chew on my own elbows that put up with the rudeness, incivility and general pissiness I see the grown-ups get from these same kids.

Don't get me wrong - we have fun. We laugh, play and be silly. Quite often. (It is scheduled into our daily timetable under Spontaneity: fun variety).It is just that I have expectations. And they are set fairly high. I reckon that children will try and reach for the level you expect. Nothing clever or huge just the childcare antithesis of 'dumbing down'. I suppose another way of phrasing it is 'encouraging independence'.

As I say on a regular basis (whether to salve my own conscience or someone else's) "I like to get a tick in the 'bad mummy box' before breakfast." I like and encourage manners. Whether they are my own children or someone else's I like manners because from there comes a sense of self and your effect on others. It is also a fabulous structure for enabling a child socially. I would be mortified to think my children went out into the world and acted as wildly as I have seen some (and I include my 'borrowed' children, although to a lesser degree[in both manners and wildness!]).

Have you noticed this post is all about memememememe and I? That is a bit over the top and really needs to be addressed. So enough about me. Let me show you about some of the shopping I bought today!

Is it not truly beautiful? And a large thank you to our delightful hand model! The colour as shown in this pic is a bit dark. Really it is kind of a dark school trouser grey. And the sequins are almost dull brass. It is truly a beautiful thing and I love it. Not quite but nearly my favourite bit is that it cost me a whole £8!!! There is a little shop in town which has decided not to be there after Saturday. It is filled with beautiful things (well actually it is not filled any more - most of it is in my car!).

I would post pictures of the other things I bought to give money to the shop which is off on holiday on Saturday but I can't because a) they are for my secret cocoa swap and b) I didn't take the pictures!

As I type this 'Gallipoli' is on and they are just at the final scene. I don't know if any of you have seen it but for a whole generation of Autralians it is our equivalent of the final scene in Blackadder Four. All should watch it.


  1. I'm with you on the manners thing - I can feel myself getting stroppy when visiting children 'forget' to say please or thank you; or when I hear anyone speak to or treat someone else with no respect or consideration. There's no need is there? Manners and consideration cost nothing. My kids are sick to death of hearing 'treat others how you would like to be treated yourself' but it's important to me. It's the start of learning that what goes around comes around - consequences, karma, call it what you will.

    I'm sure you're doing a great job. Oh, and the bag is lovely. x

  2. A great post Mrs T!! I cannot abide bad manners in children. Having just spent Christmas with niece and nephews who talk posh but can't say there pleases and thank you's if there lives depend on it I realised just how important this was to me. I was so proud of my two naughty children as they were not in fact naughty but very well behaved, especially at meal times and spoke to their Grandma politely and not as if she were their slave.
    Somehow these days we are made to feel guilty for disciplining our children which is so sad. Children need the security of boundaries and also to appreciate the effect their actions have on others.
    We should all write a book!
    Yesterday morning at Moogsville was nightmare shouty mother time as Monster would not get ready for school. This morning was much calmer and all ready on time. As Monster said to me 'It was nice this morning Mummy, you only shouted at me once!'

    Lesley xxx

  3. I meant 'their pleases and thank yous'.
    I'm also anal about English!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. I'm totally with you on the manners - and stand in full support of the car-selling-Mom (though I'm not one for giving a car to a child just because he is old enough to drive.)

    Wish we could have a meet-up to unveil our new bags! (also wish mine was pricd as well as yours was!)

  5. Yup - nice children are basically so much "nicer" to have around! I hope mine are polite and kind and I seem to get good feedback about them even if I then have them being monsterish at home because they have behaved so well at school all day! Lucy x

  6. Hear hear! I'm with you Sister!

    We were quite strict with our two when they were young (which is just how we were brought up), and I think it's paid off. Apart from the usual teenage angst, so far so good. Touch wood.

    Nice bag candy too.


  7. Loved this- we are all about the manners!! Our mum taught us well, and we are passing that on to the best of our abilities!! Great bag!!

    kari & kijsa

  8. As someone who doesn't have children of her own, but who does have to work with other people's, I am all for instilling a sense of politeness into the little darlings. Something which some of our parents don't seem to have bothered with. So, well done you!

    PS. about the award button thingy: I just copied it from Lesleys' blog, saved it on my own computer and then uploaded it to my blog as an image. Hope that's allowed... someone please tell me if it's not OK :oS

  9. Hey - loved this post - and love your site! Thanks for commenting on my blog - I wanted to stop by and check out yours! I'm in the hot cocoa swap also, of course, and I'm with you on the fear of disappointing my swapee. I've never participated in a swap before either! Anyway - thanks again!