We are very lucky. We must be, everyone tells us so. We are lucky because we have a larder.
Our larder is quite large. It houses ALL our food, the ironing board, ALL my shopping bags (inc. Mary the Russian Doll bag just received from Tracy) , our fridge and my baking stuff.
(mortifyingly this is NOT all of my baking stuff - it leaves out the sugars [yes plural!], the chocolate (we got both kinds - country & western!;-) and the flour.)
It would need to be large wouldn't it?
Sadly if Harry Potter was coming to visit we would have nowhere for him to sleep as my larder is also the understairs cupboard. And because our staircase has a halfturn in it our understairs cupboard also twists.
Last weekend we cleaned it out. A big 'proper job' (West Country accent is mandatory). This wasn't just a case of tidying the shelves up and having a little flick with the broom.
Oh no, no, no, no, no!
We emptied that sucker of everything but the bricks! We even took out the 700 year old piece of lino that only covered half the quarry tiles. It was a really nasty 60s pattern of black flecks on sludgey grey background (that'll be 1360s then).
We found some amazing stuff.
All those rolls of wrapping paper I bought a few Christmases back and put away safely.
The world's largest lasagne dish that didn't fit into the (preternaturally small) oven that was here when we moved in.
The world's supply of smallish spiders.
That bag of tealights from IKEA I told CK I must have used b/c they weren't in the larder.
This is our wedding cake.
My mother had it made for us. I asked her not to as CK doesn't like fruit cake (weirdo!) but she did.
However she also had the lady make us a carrot cake.
CK likes carrot cake so he went ahead with the wedding.
See that wedding cake up there? In its day it was a famous wedding cake.
People throughout Tullamarine (Melbourne's international airport) had heard of this wedding cake. We were the talk of the airport because someone (who may have a background in PR, I shouldn't like to say) had contacted Qantas to try and arrange safe passage for said cake.
It travelled back from Australia after the wedding as my handluggage.
It got us boarded on the plane early. Right along with the guy in handcuffs.
It began when were were checking in our bags. There was a queue. A BIG queue. And we had luggage. A BIG trolley filled with luggage. Wedding present luggage.
CK and I were getting a little nervous as we knew we were going to be over the allowance of 2.7 kilos each and could feel the fingertips of excess baggage charges nudging at our collars. An extra desk was opened, the first class and posh traveller's desk. The terribly well-groomed operator lady asked us if we would like to step forward.
After keying in our tickets she said 'Oh! Missus Trash and CK? Where's the wedding cake?' and proceeded to send our 700 kilos of luggage straight through to the plane without batting an eyelid.
Having said our sad goodbyes to family (well I said sad goodbyes, I think CK's were relieved ;-) we went through the sliding doors of adventure and tears. Right into the queue for the security checks.
Along with half the population of country Victoria.
When it was finally our turn I gently placed the box with the cake down on the conveyor belt and said to the nice man operating the x-ray 'Please be careful, that is my wedding cake in there.'
'Oh!' he said 'You're Missus Trash and CK? We've heard about you!!'
Well, the joy and headiness of fame is not to be denied. Waving away the paparazzi we went through the last gates and into the lounge wherein we were swiftly ushered through onto the waiting jet. Obviously we first had to wait for the English boy who had obviously outstayed his welcome to have the handcuffs taken off. But eventually we stowed ourselves in the back two seats and the cake safely above us.
Now why would we bring a wedding cake complete with ALL that delicate sugarwork 12 000 miles around the world? Transport handcrafted grevillia & wattle sugar flowers to the Northern Hemisphere? We were going to have a 'we got married abroad and all you get is a piece of this wedding cake' party for friends and family who stayed who behind.
You will notice the 'were'? Strangely enough, for some unknown reason and bizarrely we procrastinated to the point where 11&1/2 years of married life later we still haven't done it. So those of you who have received post from me should feel extremely joyous and those of you still waiting might want to get comfortable......