It started off as a day just like any other one - with John Humphries haranguing some dopey politician as I stirred my son's porridge to a cooked state and shared some choice words with my daughter about brushing her hair before going to school.
I was stitched up by two UNO sharks in a competitive game of cards after lunch.
To recover my composure I went into the kitchen and set four lamb shanks to slow cook in a pot with some garlic, vinegar, brown sugar, onions, water, bacon, passata and just a little bit of red wine. I thought it would be all right to deviate from the recipe a little. There was no dark sugar left so I just used the pale brown sugar. I thought it would be okay, honest.
The oven was on a low medium heat, it was what the recipe said and later, again like I was supposed to, I turned it down to low for the last hour of cooking. Okay, perhaps I used a little bit too much vinegar but it really isn't very easy to obtain accurate measurements when you are pouring from a five litre container.
I checked the potatoes for green skin, they seemed normal. And the broccoli had only been purchased a few days before. It had been included in dinner on Monday so I felt safe using it. Oh! If only I had known.
You see Innernets, at 6'o'clock last night I sat my children at the table and forced them to eat real food. There wasn't a piece of cheese, pasta or other standard set meal in this house in sight.
I have learned my lesson and they have promised to stop making retching noises when I suggest something different for dinner.