Monday, 2 November 2009

How very dare she!

Am finally getting out and doing some much needed work in my garden. Lots of chopping, raking and squishing of vegetable matter before taking it up to the 'tip' after lunch. My wellies are properly muddy again (as oppposed to just wet) and there was no need for me to feign bravery when a frog jumped out from the border onto my foot (my wellie-clad foot I hasten to add or I may just have succumbed to the vapours).

Suddenly at my front gate appeared Fraser and his owner. Fraser is my assistant's brother. My assistant loves having her brother drop by. He is fun and lets her bounce on his head and doesn't mind too much when she bites him (unlike everyone else here in this house/place of employment). I like Fraser too. I just wish he would arrive without anyone else.
As I said, they turned up at my gate out of the blue with her beetling forward "We can't come in, (Good. Wasn't going to ask you.) just wanted to say hello."
Propietoral gaze, nosey intentions, looks at my assistant scrabbling madly at the wire to get out and play with her brother and says "My, hasn't she got a lot of coat?!"
"Yes." I said. "We like her floofy."
"Oh she is bigger than I thought. Perhaps it is coat though." Considering face, head tilted at curious angle, conspiratorial air, leans forward and says (patronisingly) "Perhaps I give mine too much exercise."
"Well you don't want to do that. Too much exercise buggers up their bones."
"Oh. Well he only does the mile here and back twice a day and a run in the evening for 45 minutes" Flustered voice, taken aback demeanour "Well, I have never had any problem with any my other dogs." Stumble in voice, feeling affronted. "And they have lived until 18 or so!"
"Well must go. Have to visit one of 'my' old ladies in the hospital. We haven't seen her for weeks." Sanctimonious twitching, pull at coat lapels. Dog lead jerking down all the way down drive.
Do you think she will be back?????


  1. Doesn't sound like Fraser picked himself a very good owner. Perhaps you could adopt him too? :-)

  2. Lord, I wish someone (else) would give MY dog that much exercise. She's like me, at the moment...more "squooshy" than "floofy."

  3. Sounds like she needed a trowel of mud on her shoes lol!

  4. sounds to me like she's got her head up her a...!!!!

  5. Sounds like she needs a frog down her front!

    Locket xxx

  6. My dog's like yours... very floofy.

    (Except that underneath the coat she really could stand to lose a kilo or two... just like me...)

  7. Yep, I'm with Maria - LOLOL!!!
    Joy :o)

  8. My goodness it's all go down your end of the world. You know as I read what you wrote I get a mental picture of Frasers owner - and it wasn't a pretty one....roflmol.

  9. I hope she won't be back for your sake!

  10. I LOATHE women like that - sanctimonious cow!

  11. Not if she reads this, she won't!!

    Maybe you should pay her off with a nice handmade bag ;)


  12. She's practically an inlaw...that explains a lot! hahahaha Think of poor Fraser with an owner like that....ICK!
    Mary ..."sanctimonious cow" might be my new favorite term!

  13. Hahaha -- you're hysterical! No wonder Fraser wants to come and visit!

  14. I loathe 'I know better than you' people ...
    I recently met a chap in the woods who worked his Springer, he was asking me all sorts of questions about Archie expecting me not to have a clue and hence having a totally wild Springer. Wrong !
    I gloated in the aftermath and blew him a HUGE silent raspberry as he walked off. Ah, the satisfaction !

  15. awwww man, i wish you'd've told me sooner that catherine tate was living nearby in the character of derek...i'm a big, BIG fan!!! :)