Open letter to BT

Dear BT Customer Services and Billing Departments,

I hate you. I hate your faux friendliness. I hate the computer voice you have on the hideous automated service when I phone up to pay my bill. I accept that you are unable to provide me with my account number for security reasons as mine is not the name on the bill, but I hate that I have to explain this to three different people during a ten minute conversation to try and get someone to help me give you my money.

Have you deliberately set out to stress, annoy and irritate your customer base? I acknowledge that your response in anwering phone calls is speedy but this quickness is offset by me being channelled directly into the aforementioned naseauating automated system.

By making it so difficult to share a conversation with a real live person you have forced me to compromise my moral wellbeing. You see, when the computer voice so clearly enunciates my options I bypass the ones that would take me further into the maze of 'press 1 for payment, press two for cow-prodding, press 3 for small green spaceship spotting and press 4 to return to the original menu' and head straight for the ones that I know will end up with a real live person at the other end eventually. So thank you for your concern but no I really don't have a problem with a fault on my line or nuisance calls I just want to pay my bloody bill!