Monday, 30 May 2011

A 3am list.

I was awake for over an hour from three in the early hours of Saturday morning. This is the equivalent of 13 years without sleep for most people. The combination of CK snoring through a blocked nose and me going over and over my shitty meeting w destructoBoy's teacher meant sleep was elusive. So I started making lists.

My first list involved ways of getting said teacher disbarred/struck off/defrocked because when you are stupid enough to question my parenting skills you deserve everything you get. Alas this wasn't getting me closer to sleep, I was having far too much fun. To try and put me in the mood a little I started to list all of the places I have fallen asleep -

  • couch

  • bed

  • floor

  • loo

  • dining table

  • cinema

  • theatre

  • Indian head massage

  • car

  • bus

  • train

  • tube

  • coach

  • restaurant

  • church

  • pedicure

  • garden

  • public park

  • churchyard

  • during a filling at dentist

  • standing up

  • while speaking

  • in the hammock

And now I can add *while making lists* as it was suddenly 6:30 am and My Assistant was demanding to be let out for a wee.


  1. whilst talking?

    Standing up?

    You? are a sleeping legend.

    Except of course when you can't sleep.

  2. Tell me you weren't driving when you fell asleep in the car...?

    Bad Karma is a bitch, especially when you're a teacher (kids pooing their pants, rotting fruit hidden in your class room) who'd take the risk???

  3. That's an impressive list. As a part time insomniac, I have to say I'm rather envious of your sleeping skills.

  4. My Mr Fixit has twice fallen asleep while riding a motorbike. The second time was the time he removed the wing mirror with his balls as he flew over the handlebars. Live and learn.

  5. I'm impressed. The only places I fall asleep are in the car (not when I'm driving), the couch and bed.