Tuesday, 3 April 2012

A culinary cretin

CK was poking around in the freezer, muttering about 'too much stuff' and 'what is all this crap' and 'why is there no food?' He pulled out a carrier bag half-filled with small purple fruits.
"What are these?"
"They must be blueberries. I wonder where I got such an enormous amount of blueberries from?"
"Mama? Can I make blueberry muffins?"
"Not now but make some breakfast tomorrow morning."
"Oh. OK."

O- dark hundred this morning something landed on my bed at full tilt.
"Mama! Mama! Can I make muffins now?"
We lay there in semi-companiable silence for some minutes. I fell back to sleep, he plotted. By half seven the tension emanating from him was causing the house to shake a little. Telling him a lie I said to go get things ready in the kitchen and I would be down in a minute.

After giving up the search for his super-dooper school cooking club muffin recipe we bowed before the BBC Good Food gods and received their recipe for White Chocolate and Blueberry muffins. Cue much clattering around kitchen, garnering of required ingredients and intense debate about whether to have too little white chocolate or to add some milk thereby adapting the recipe. Would the BBC gods be pleased? Would a greater tribute be required to placate them? Decision made to just roll with punches and take the consequences meant I stood there picking out little bits of leaf and pulling of stems from such plump and juicy looking blueberries while mixing was undertaken. As I plucked and picked away my brain was desperately trying to remember where the fruit had come from. Had there been a mahoosive blueberry sale last Summer? Had I been gifted a kilo or more of such delicious fruit and why could I not remember?

Muffins in the oven cooking away merrily, destructoBoy tidying up his mess, me FBing to find out what has occurred in the world while I was asleep. !PING! First muffins ready to come out.
"Mama, I got them out of the oven but can't get them out of the tray. Can you help?"
Walk over, pleased to still be of some use in his life. Once all freed I peeled the case from one and cut it up so we may taste. The white chocolate had caramelised ever so slightly and the milk chocolate was still all lovely and melty, the blueberries were, wait, giant pips? There were giant pips in the blueberries? So big in fct they are stones. These bluebrries had stones!!!!!!!

My mind stretched even further and it all flooded back to me. These blueberries were in fact the sloes I had been given last Autumn so I could try my hand at making sloe gin. MAybe I should just get him to soak the lot in gin for 12 months and give it as Christmas presents????


  1. Im guessing the sloes taste nothing like a blueberry...?
    Would you be able to adapt and have shots of muffin?

  2. I'm thinking, blueberries sound a whole lot nicer...?? I like Abbe's suggestion- shots of muffin!

  3. Hahahaha. But. There was white chocolate involved, so the muffins must've been good? Did you have a eureka moment and hit upon a fantastic new recipe? Or not so much?

  4. Sloe gin - fantastic! Sloe muffins...not so much! Can you eat and spit your way around the stones in the muffins?

  5. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with spitting seeds from muffins!