Monday, 21 January 2008

See! Doctors don't know everything!!!

Oh, yes. They will tell you they are jolly clever and how you have to have twelve A** 'A' levels, umpteen interesting experiences and hobbies outside school life and preferably be the child of a (better if it is two) doctor but the truth will out and I am able to tell you that doctors don't know everything!

I went and saw physician person today. Not only did he make me do the work (where was my contract I would like to know??)but his diagnosis was of a very nasty U.T.I. (acronym b/c I can't whisper on this blog yet), that is currently alternating between tap-dancing on my kidneys and flicking them with a wet towel. And we all know that is bad b/c Peter Hudson lost a testicle doing that in the Hawthorn dressing rooms! {little Aus reference. sorry, my mother made me say it ;-)}

I did say I had hoped he would be able to diagnose 'hilltop malaria' and that we could make our names scientifically. Do you know he had the gall, the outright cheek to ask me what that was!?Had he not just been listening, palpating and dipping into pots? Surely he had heard discussed the shivers, shakes, sweats and burnings that were my last week? Nope. Calm as you like he gave me a prescription for anti-biotics, suggested I would be all better by Thursday and would I close the door behind me on my way out!

So here I lie back in my bed, having done something just a little bit naughty while I was waiting to collect my prescription. Sadly I am upstairs beginning to shiver (god! I wish ibuprofen worked faster)and the naughtiness and my camera are downstairs so perhaps next time I will come with pictures.

Until then let me show you that in Engerland the sky is not always grey but perhaps they should keep their architects at home for longer!

hello..... did you come down this far? becasue I have figured out how to whisper - do you like it? U.T.I. stands for urinary tract infection. I maintain this is only a symptom and that 'the vicious and unpleasant hilltop malaria' is the root cause. We shall see - one day I shall be looked on as a visionary, not a fool.


  1. Having suffered from your whispered illness myself in times gone by I can confirm your doctor's diagnosis. A good dose of UTI does in fact bear an uncanny resemblance to hilltop malaria. The only difference is that full-blown hilltop malaria would normally include pustulating boils on the thighs and earlobes. Do you have these?

    Either way bed rest and plenty of drugs is the answer. Oh, and drink gallons of water.

    Dr Moogsmum xxx

  2. Dr. Missus Moogsmum,

    thank you for your corroboration as well as your recognition of the existence of'hilltop malaria'.

    Sadly while it does involve some redness and slight thinkening around the lower earlobe I fear you may be confusing it with the unpleasant but not quite so dreadful 'incline malaria'. This does indeed leave the affected patient wishing themselves possessed of a good pair of scissors or at least a sharp knife.

    With proper 'hilltop malaria' one is too sick to be able to countenance such activity and simply struggles silently through the pain.

    Sincerely Patient X (I believe this is the term one gives to the original victim.)

  3. Love the whisper but hate the UTI - have had them in the past and they are awful.

  4. Dear Visionary (of course you are not a fool! Honestly!!!)

    Really can't think of anything to say to match your wit and Lesley's wisdom! Just, hope the antibiotics kick in quickly and the ibuprofen even faster!

    Take care, Lucy x

    P.S. word verif is "ymmgao" sounds like a nasty type of skin infection - maybe of the boil-type described by Dr MM!

  5. I need to know more about Peter Hudson and his testicles. Please! Surely a story worthy of a blog post? :-D

    Fingers crossed you feel much better soon on what we, in this household, call 'antibollox' ... but sshhh, whisper it. ;-) x

  6. Thanks for the very kind offer to infect my husband with hilltop malaria. I have to decline I'm afraid. If he gets it he'll be moping about here all the time and that would never do!!!!

    Thanks anyway. It was awfully kind of you ;)

    Lesley xx