Trash Towers
On Top of The Hill
UK
22/09/10
The Rat Family
By the Compost Bin
Lower 40
On Top of The Hill
UK
Dear Rat Family,
thank you so much for your polite greeting the other week. It is always sociable when newcomers to the neighbourhood introduce themselves.CK was stunned to hear your dwelling had been constructed so quickly. In his experience building work doesn't seem to get past the planning stage very often but let's not focus on kitchens.
Hopefully you noticed the few care packages we placed on your doorstep as gestures of goodwill and will, by now, have consumed the deliciousness hidden inside them.
I would like to apologise for the raucous greeting of my assistant last week. We do not get to meet many from other lands and cultures in our little rural setting; this Hilltop is a long way from anywhere but then its peace and tranquility is why we all come here, yes? I was glad to see you remained quite unperturbed by my assistant's joyous shouts and dancing. It gave me real hope for how our future relationship will develop.
Yours sincerely,
trash.
I'm sure your new neighbours are feeling overwhelmed by your kind hospitality! Not many people go to such lengths to welcome strangers anymore. Very touching. Cherrie
ReplyDeleteYour new neighbours will be delighted to learn that their cousins seem to have taken up residence here in East Anglia, and have been welcomed with equal enthusiasm and gift giving. Do pass on our regards.
ReplyDeletewell their country cousins have not arrived here yet, but are certain to within the next month or so - we do have welcome packages underneath pallets especially for their arrival!!!
ReplyDeletex
We had a rat family at the end of the garden when we lived at our old place. The Rat Man who came out to 'relocate' them said we didn't stand a chance with a neighbour with an aviary on one side, and a neighbour who kept hens on the other. It's like Rat Fast Food Takeaway you see - all that bird food and chicken food. Still, we did leave them some care parcels anyway. x
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should write their little town mouse cousin a note to say 'stop gnawing in the wall cavity next to my knitting chair, take a wander around behind the kitchen kickboards instead where we've left you a very special snack'.
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There's nothing like a care package to make the new residents feel welcome...vbg. Hope they get the hint soon.
ReplyDeleteThe lower 40 is home to all sorts it seems....a veritable haven !
ReplyDeletedear missus trash,
ReplyDeletewe received your so-called treats, but owing to the utter ubiquity of CSI re-runs on telly, regarded them with deep suspicion. i have forwarded samples to the proper authorities, and expect you will be hearing from them in due course.
in the meantime, via the tiny gap under your garage door, (the one that was deemed "too small to repair") we have been able to access your vegetable storage, for which we thank you! however, next year we'd like to request more pumpkins and less beetroots!
sincerely yours,
roberta ratzenberg
ps: sorry about the pellets in your gardening gloves; our jimmy had a bit of an accident!
You're hysterical. VERY considerate AND funny -- the perfect combination. And thank you for the lesson, it seems I haven't been quite hospitable enough to the american cousins.
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