Tuesday, 25 January 2011

You know, you might not want me as a friend.

Gave an old friend a lift up the hill from school this morning. Because you know, it is a very tall hill and school is at the bottom and slowly I am convincing her to be as lazy as me.

We sat outside her house chatting for a few minutes when she said something along the lines of "Oh it is awful, 'BabySpeak' has turned into a terrible tomboy just now. I am forever having to say to her - stop shouting in the house, move gently, oh do try and be just a little bit feminine."

When I had gathered my wits back from the deep recesses of my mind where they had fled in simple self-protection I turned and looked at her with, what I hoped was, a compassionate face. I say hoped but have a sneaking suspicion it was absolute shock.

The words "She is completely feminine." came from my mouth, which is quite good as my brain was thinking 'Why are you fucking with this SIX yo child's sense of self and exploration of her personality?'. Since she was captive next to me in the (very) confined spaces of Maria I gave a her a little lecture all the while trying not to sound too emphatic.

I recognise there may have been an element of projection on my part.

I was always that kid who was too loud. When I got to the single sex school (age eight) I was the one who spent years being told to sit with my knees together (in my defence we wore trousers) and behave in a more gentle manner - and this was by the other girls! Always being told to be more helpful by our 'sainted' nuns. I was the girl who would stand out the front and disagree with someone, even in primary school. Given the option I wore shorts and jeans rather than skirts and dresses, in fact sometimes even not given the option I did it anyway. I had short hair, my nails were ragged (and still are) and clothes are not and never really have been a driver in my life.

I guess the moral here is - if you ping my sensitive spots I will bite. So if you still want to go ahead and apply for friendship status you have been warned!


  1. I was always the gentler person but as the years have gone by I've become the louder (slighter) person. AND! I don't even own a dress. So there!

  2. No, I agree with you Trash. Sure, I'm all for 'using your inside voice' so the kid isn't too shouty, but 'be more feminine'???? That is just rubbish. And the poor kid would surely be baffled by such a command.

  3. Yeah... I'll be your friend!

  4. HA! i am *STILL* "that girl"...ok, now i guess i am "that woman". and, coincidentally, also quite proud to be your friend, missus!!! ♥♥♥

    (ps to your "victim": hello! hi! ummmmm....yeah...the 1950's just rang up...they'd like their outdated gender stereotypes back, please! ta v much!)

  5. Yep still gonna be your friend!!!


  6. I'm renewng my friendship subscription with you.

    (Although, I admit to giving my dress-wearing 5-year-old girl a few gentle reminders about "legs together", for fear of nasty people watching).

  7. So, did that friend up the hill cancel her Trash friendship subscription?
    I must admit, I would have been taken a bit aback by the sudden and unexpected onslaught.
    But then I would have thought about it and remembered that you're a pretty cool chick and I would rather have you as a friend (even when occasionally grumpy) than not at all.
    That is all.
    Andi x

  8. Waving at you friend. You sound so much like me - it's scary...vbg.