Recent crafting success.

Present for a certain gorgeous boy on the other side of the world. Hopefully it is helping to keep the chill of Winter at bay.

Recent times in pictures

The White Rabbit was late for a seventh birthday party!

Gorgeous Baby Will.

Hanging out on top of The Hill.
My Assistant in the Winter sunshine.

Mother's Day Dinner made by destructoBoy.

In the past month...

I have ...

* finalised plans for new kitchen/living room building (Yippee! Woohoo! And Yay!) .

* nearly left my husband during IKEA trip to id potential kitchens (not that he even realised but I felt better for considering it).

* transported four highly excited under 9s through the wilds of Wiltshire to their first chess tournament. They only came 8/12 bc of a mahoosive amount of adult-sanctioned cheating by other schools. Seriously a headmaster who calls his under 9 pupils 'stupid' bc they lost a chess match??

* realised not every family plays maths and history and word games during 'long' car trips'! Who knew?

* mortified my son by banning the use of all the blurry DS consoles those children had for an hour during the six we spent at said tournament.

* been reminded of all the fabulous and exciting history there is on our doortsep here in Engerland.

* not been asked for interview to a job I would have loved.

* bought my daughter a new school bag following on from the saga last term.

* met old friend and children (inc god daughter) for lunch in beautiful Cathedral surrounds.

* had verbal smackdown with Mr. HeadTeacher twice. Once about the crazy-arse parking that goes on down there and the other about having held the door for the ENTIRE school (inc one teacher) and only one child said thank you. (And it wasn't my son, about which we have since had words ;-)

* had a meeting about teaching capability of destructoBoy's teacher because he is bored in class, every day.
* been called scarey by a parent at school.
* dobbed in stupid Yr. 8 students clever enough to hide out of sight from staff when smoking at playtime but sufficiently stupid to stand next to railing fence right beside road.

* praised highly to teacher the one child who did thank me for holding open school door.

* extremely lately handed over handmade birthday present to good friend and I think she liked it.

* had double success over at Posh Yarns Sunday night sellout. I foresee perhaps a hat for Princess C-W for Christmas with the pink sparkly one and the kicking-off off a garter stitch scarf kal this Friday with the chunky cashmere.

* nursed destructoboy through a whole month of ear infection. This entailed four visits to the doctors, three lots of antibiotics and one fight with the rottweilerXdoctors' receptionist. TG it has cleared up now and he is playing at top speed again.

* received a phonecall from YOT telling me my phone was being kept in their safe overnight if I would like to come and collect it the following morning. Oops!!
* recognised it is still six months away but have made a decision on d/Boy's birthday present.
* identified OMD's episodes as being epilepsy not a stroke.
* watched freezing on the sidelines as my son captained the under 9s to a distinct non-victory at the local schools football tournament. I was the screeching woman on the sidelines but offset my mania by cheering for the other teams too.

* purchased outfit for 80th birthday party this Saturday.

* attended Princess C-W's first ever secondary parent/teacher evening. Unlike most of her peers she didn't attend and so didn't hear how well-regarded she is by her teachers and how well she is doing in her classes. There was a little glow about us as parents by the end of it all. And I didn't even start-up on her History teacher. Perhaps it was bc she looked so knackered after dealing w grown-ups all evening. Perhaps it was bc she was our last stop and we could go home afterwards. I don't know why but remain impressed that I maintained my silence when she referred to 'our written conversation earlier in the year' and how she 'always encourages parents to help with the homework'. HA!

* taken the big black dog to the vet with a sore eye. Am hoping to stave off need to do this again.

* had The Bat Lady around to visit and am sending off her report today. This in turn means we apply for planning permission by the end of the week. If you want to voice an objection you have two months to lodge it with the relevant authority!

Urgent help required. All input gratefully received.

Have received an invite to a party.

A friend's 80th birthday party.

It will be in a swish hotel.

It is a dinner dance.



A dinner dance!



I have never been to a dinner dance in my life.

They are an event from my childhood that involved my mother dressing up and going out with a group of friends. Wearing long dresses, blue eyeshadow and enough hairspray to stick together all the fallen down bits of the Great Wall of China.

I am willing to go with some hairspray but really DON'T want the blue eyeshadow but my major problem is what do I wear???

I have a good line in long cardigans, a-line skirts and comfortable shoes. I don't think I do dinner dancewear. I'm not even sure what it is! All I can remember is my mother wearing a fabric flower on a velvet ribbon around her neck. Perhaps if I got a big enough flower no one would notice what else I had on. Or didn't ;-)

Suggestions gratefully received. I only have a month.

Alone. All alone.

So here I am, the day before the end of January and I have been kicked out of my home.

I shouldn't complain really I suppose.

The sun is shining. The sky is blue and finally the temperature has risen into positive numbers. That and the fact that my banishment is only temporary. As I wait for the ping of the text message to say I am allowed back I am sitting ina flash chain coffe shop at a table with comfy seats. I have an uber-trashy newspaper, CK's baby laptop, my knitting plus a MAHOOSIVE hot chocolate has been consumed.

One can only imagine the things that are taking place back at Trash Towers.

Last year during my exclusion they were designing and decorating the '40' magnet that now adorns my fridge. The year before I walked the dogs in the bitter cold and dark while they secretly baked a cake. Apparently it was CK's determination to keep it secret that stopped him washing the dishes that were already waiting to be done. You see, he didn't want me becoming suspicious so he only did the implements of baking. He was corrected of this misapprehension very swiftly.

Tomorrow will show the results of today's adventures.

So anyway this past week up at Trash Towers we have

- had the architect visit and been extremely excited to think we wouldn't need planning permission but reality soon intruded. (I know I have posted this already but I did say the ecitement was extreme!!!)

- had words with destructoBoy's teacher bc I am sending him to school in tears as he is so bored. Was very restrained about the whole thing and tried to work w her (trust me it isn't easy) but think the older, v . experienced teacher sidling into room on a pretext during meeting AND then contributing more than a little rude and quite odd.

- been pondering the balance of letting daughter attend much desired sleepover vs not wishing her to watch 'Zombieland' movie OR 'Sun, sea & sex' tv programme.

- been gobsmacked at friend thinking it funny to point out on Facebook that she thinks I talk to much. Perhaps I do love but there is a time and place is all I am saying.

- watched OMD become increasingly wobbly-headed and unsteady. Think he may have had another episode. Current in-house theory is extreme cold exacerbates his condition.

- found job to apply for. Right field, close-by, not ridiculous hours. All this adds up to me being unlikely to get it! Never mind, shall send in application anyway.

- have given into the frigging headcold that has been visiting. Am so completely over having to exist on lipbalm and water. Promise that one day my lips will be uncracked?

- made one of Jodie's softies. OK so his head is a little skewiff and I didn't put on the seperate face bit that actually makes him a monkey but d/Boy and I were pleased.

- made a fairy skirt for god-daughter bc it is really only 4yo who will wear the things I make (see note about 'skewiff' above).

- tried to knit lace patterns. With each attempt I manage several rows correctly and then BAM! the whole thing goes wrong. Do you think it is personal?

- had a pedicure AND an eyelash tint. Beautician lady is also teaching assistant at d/Boy's school so indulged in good gossip. Plus tint was free as she was practising for her course. Noice!

- planned day out to Southampton with CK tomorrow. John Lewis, Ikea, Waterstones and as many other nice shops as I can fit into the available time there. Damn you school pick-up necessity!

- made biscuits AND cake for school cake stall.

- had lunch with lovely friends in gorgeous cottage. Some people just have the magic touch with design and acessories.

- been with a friend when she received horrible news.

- , as always, taken time to be grateful and appreciative of the small things that make up life.

Wishing you all a fabulous February.

You know, you might not want me as a friend.

Gave an old friend a lift up the hill from school this morning. Because you know, it is a very tall hill and school is at the bottom and slowly I am convincing her to be as lazy as me.

We sat outside her house chatting for a few minutes when she said something along the lines of "Oh it is awful, 'BabySpeak' has turned into a terrible tomboy just now. I am forever having to say to her - stop shouting in the house, move gently, oh do try and be just a little bit feminine."

When I had gathered my wits back from the deep recesses of my mind where they had fled in simple self-protection I turned and looked at her with, what I hoped was, a compassionate face. I say hoped but have a sneaking suspicion it was absolute shock.

The words "She is completely feminine." came from my mouth, which is quite good as my brain was thinking 'Why are you fucking with this SIX yo child's sense of self and exploration of her personality?'. Since she was captive next to me in the (very) confined spaces of Maria I gave a her a little lecture all the while trying not to sound too emphatic.

I recognise there may have been an element of projection on my part.

I was always that kid who was too loud. When I got to the single sex school (age eight) I was the one who spent years being told to sit with my knees together (in my defence we wore trousers) and behave in a more gentle manner - and this was by the other girls! Always being told to be more helpful by our 'sainted' nuns. I was the girl who would stand out the front and disagree with someone, even in primary school. Given the option I wore shorts and jeans rather than skirts and dresses, in fact sometimes even not given the option I did it anyway. I had short hair, my nails were ragged (and still are) and clothes are not and never really have been a driver in my life.

I guess the moral here is - if you ping my sensitive spots I will bite. So if you still want to go ahead and apply for friendship status you have been warned!

How crap is that? Four days into Blogtoberfest and already I missed a post but there is a really good reason, honest.





You see yesterday Maria and I took a little jaunt up to Bath for a bloggy meet-up. Bless her, Maria did all the driving again while I plugged away at the 'Plane Socks' because as we know Christmas is getting ever closer. Having met-up in the driving rain we were prepared to swim our way around Milsom Street but the weather cleared as we approached Bath. (Which was a relief to both of us as heading up Brassknocker Hill in the rain was not something to look forward to.) We were meeting up with Joy and her lovely travelling companions, Daryl and Jess. After rescuing them from the depths of the Marks & Spencer's luggage department with a restorative cup of tea we went off to explore.


I automatically slipped into tour guide mode and dragged them from one end of town to the other heading up toward The Circus and then back down Saracen street to the Cath Kidston shop with a detour via Queen Square. I hope it was a good blend of 'historical and sociolgical tourism' or as it is properly known 'looking and shopping'.

Joy was in such a blissed out state Maria had to collect the shopping for her! Darryl was outside eyeing up The Saracen's Head over the road. He should have gone in, we were at Cath Kidston long enough that he could have downed several pints!



As always at a blog meet up there was much laughing, chatting and a 'knowing' of each other even though you are just meeting for the first time.

Thanks to Joy, Daryl and Jess for sharing a little slice of your holiday with us :-)

Sad news today

I received an email imparting sad news this morning.



Unconsciously it coloured how I have dealt with my children all day.



I have been quite mean.



Perhaps I shall be more pleasant tomorrow.



I shall definitely shed more tears.

'Tis the season to be trolleyed ...

... am just home from mid-eveing celebratory drink with friends. Celebration because they took part in the lOndon Moonwlk this year and , as it turns out celebration for me becaus oit is the first time in nealry 20 years since I drank tequila. And quite a few cocktails I ordered. And then some that I didn't but tht thew owner of the establishment got his 'parfait' bartender to create and have us sample. TG I don't drink wine as my compatriot got roped into test ing roses, whiotes AND reds.

Then I walked back to my house with said compatriot to collect black hounds so that could walke her home to other side of not so big-hilltop town in in safety. Lucky I did b/c as we crossedin front of fire station sirens and blue lights started whirling and flaring and said compatriot nearly fell into middle of major A road.

Have now drunkl several glasses of water and am going to seal children into theoir rooms so that no-one can rise before 1100hours tonoporrow. Bugger about school starting at 0900.





















Not quite as bad as typing makes me seem but just thought I would leave post unexpurgated. Honest!














plus Moriarty will no longer be at school EVER from next year. YAY!!!

OK non-believers, hold on to your hats!

This is said quilt in its finished and drapey state. Pretty, non?
Filled with lovely colours Emma Scrapbag put together, interesting texture in the chenille.
A mix of both my worlds with the inner fabric a blog friend gift and the outer a mix of shirts
(one of which I actually loved and wore - don't tell my mother about the other) and a dress belongum Princess C-W.

And then we have the binding.
Gorgeous girlie, frilly pretty binding a gift from a friend.
Binding that was machine-stitched on both sides.
Oh Patch Andi, you clever, clever girl to make me feel brave enough to try this.

And then we have several reasons why it took so long to actually finish completely and 100%.

Is it wrong to have a favourite number at bingo?

Two and six!

Girls night out at a fundraiser for the NICU* Baby Will and his big sister both spent some weeks in when they first arrived.

It is incredible how seriously some people took the loss of a chance to win a bottle of bleach and cleaning cloth. There was much sighing and shoulder-slumping each time Bingo! or House! was called. The venue was the local 'Social Club' but I reckon feeling like I needed to go home and 'Silkwood' scrub my skin was worth it for the 300 (or so) pounds raised.

(NICU - Neonatal Intensive Care Unit)

's been a busy day.

First there was the getting up early to get ready to leave the house, then there was the drive across to the other side of town to Sylv's favourite patchwork shop. Having waved goodbye to Sylv and Giovanna it was necessary to do a sweep of said patchwork shop to identify an reprobates that may be hanging about.

With none in sight a perusal of every shop in a ten minute walk was required.

Having started with the shops further away I slowly worked my way back down the road. There was the funky African shop filled with soapstone carvings, gruesome face masks and fiddly bead sculptures. There was the unbelievably groovy clothes shopped that only stocked black, white or grey clothing and where simple cotton shift tunics with nasty felt embroidery came with a $720 price tag. I meandered through two children's clothes shops were the jeans were nearly $90 dollars a pair and t-shirts over 30. My poor children are obviously neglected if these are the indicators of good parenting.

Still with no cackling crazy sewists in view it reached a point where I was considering walking through the paintshop and asking intelligent questions but at the last minute I veered away. Imagine me engaged in a discussion about the merits of acrylic vs eggshells for walls with some fella I had never met before and would never see again. Ten minutes of my life that would never return so I walked down a side street and photographed 1920s/30s Australian houses.

When I did return to the fabric shop the v. nice (but quite reserved) lady working there called out as I entered
'Are you waiting for two women from Ballarat?'
Leading question I thought but yes I was.
'They have just rung and said to tell you they are bit delayed because of roadworks.'
I think she must have known it was me from their description - gorgeous, elegant, sophisticated, glamorous - you know, all the usuals.

Eventually they arrived bringing the sunshine and we laughed and photographed our way through the shop. After half an hour we engaged in what I had assumed was an English obsession but perhaps it is me is the odd one out, we had coffee and cake (apologies to Maria and Lesley).

There was a slight tussle over ownership of the lemon tart but Jodie gracefully acceded to Annie, given she was the driver and all. The next hour was spent catching up and setting the world to rights with a small break for a table shift and then to choose from the chocolates proffered to us.

A quick drive up to the far end of the shopping street and landed us in a good craft place. An old-fashioned haberdashers with racks and racks of buttons, ribbon, bias, lace, toggles and thread. A v. smart dress fabrics shop run by an extremely elegant Italian woman with a razor sharp grey bob and a large pair of cutting shears she menaced Jodie with after a small incident with a bolt of fabric, a slipping elbow and the front window display. Fortunately we escaped with our limbs still attached and so were able to look at a) the smart florists (Annie) and b) the funky toy shop (me and Jodie).

With a quick look at their watches it became clear one of them at least had to be a good parent and get home in time to collect children from school so we said our (temporary) farewells (seeing Jodie at Sew It Together) before I caught the bus into town to meet Sylv at her crafting group. So all in all 's been a bit busy today.

Gifts Part the Third

This really is getting ridiculous isn't? We are now over month since my birthday and I still haven't actually managed to show you all the fabulousness. Just one more post after this I promise.

My favouritest cousin stitched this sampler and knew exactly which was the right home for it.

It reads

" To know what you prefer,
instead of humbly saying 'Amen'
to what the world says you ought,
is to have kept your soul alive. "

As well as pretty fabric Jennyflower enclosed this embellished paper artwork. Shown here the colours have a more yellow cast than in reality. Along with Lauren's piece (from previous post) it is gracing my bookshelves so I may enjoy it daily.

And while the picture below does not give the most accurate or professionally displayed image of one of the most amazing things I have received in my life ever, I wanted to show it living its life.

Mrs. Locket, Thimbleanna, Mrs Stashbasket, Wonderwoman, Little Cotton Rabbits and most especially Mrs Moog please accept this huge enormous bouquet of thanks. I am in awe at the skill and talent that created my blanket

OK, first you have to pretend it is still Tuesday.

And then you have to imagine there is sunshine. And no rain. And that the wind, when it whips through, isn't icy.

It being February halfterm meant we had to meet up with Family Moog in crappy weather and force our children on a route march of some senic venue. So after some texting we settled on Hengistbury Head on Tuesday. Lunch timeish. Mrs Moog was going to make pancakes.

'Triffic! I'll get Pr. C-W to make her chicken and sweetcorn soup.' I said.

With dread we followed BBC 5 Day weather forecast over the weekend. However stiff upper lip, best foot forward and all that and with a bazgillion changes of clothes in the boot we set off in CK's car for an adventure. CK's car was a necessity as once three pair of wellies are stashed in Maria's boot there is room for nothing else, let alone coats, towels and a basket of food such as may sustain weary travellers.

Despite a slight detour (bloody Kate, CK's satnav!) we got to Hengistbury to discover there are TWO car parks! Which one? Never mind I shall phone Missus Moog and clarify. Oh wait! What is this? My phone has NO power?? Triffic!

However Missus Moog did NOT know about the second car park and as I went back to check it out I passed the Moogsmobile, executing a quick u-turn I ended up parking CK's boring wagon next to the Moogsmobile and right in front of the grass bank where destructoBoy, Princess Curly-Wurly and my assistant were standing shivering in the rain, my beacon of blog-readiness to the world.

Fortunately by the time we actually got to the beach the weather was slightly more friendly with just low cloud, light drizzzle and delicate breeze and so the ball was flung for my assistant who ran her little terrier heart out. (Sometimes she even picked the ball up!) And the smalls ran, clambered, pitched and screeched. Much fun was had by all. Back to the cars for lunch and pancakes - Go Missus Moog, flipper extraordinaire!

Being such a generous soul Missus Moog was kind enough to share with these two scary hoodies lurking in the carpark.

It was only as said pannekoek were being scoffed that one particularly not-intelligent blogger may have said 'Hey! Today is Shrove Tuesday!!

Gifts Part the First

I love birthdays. I really, really love birthdays. Mine, someone else's, the dogs', I just love birthdays. And this year my birthday has actually hit the heights of birthday lani-dom.

Now officially at middle age I decided I have enough stuff (obviously excludes fabric and yarn stash increases) and accordingly told CK I didn't want much for my birthday. And so this is (most of) what I got from my lot.

3 flying lanterns, a face mask (ref. prev. post for finished article) , a book many times discussed and a remote control for my camera (used to superb effect last Saturday night).

CK told me I needed some jewellery for my 40th birthday. *No I don't I said. *Go and choose some he said. *No, I won't I said, I don't need any. *Go and choose a piece of jewellery that is beautiful and lovely or the kids and I will!

So I did. I bought myself a gorgeous string of freshwater pearls. They are luminous. They are long. They are lovely. They will be pictured in the next post!

Then there was a parcel from Sylv. As well as the fabric shown over here she also sent some snuggly warm socks, a knitting book filled with crrrrrrazy patterns and the pearls my father gave her in 1969.

These are a necklet that I may never actually wear but I will take out regularly and stroke and sigh over.

Giovanna played a blinder. Again there was fabric but wrapped inside it were some very elegantly patterned cake papercases, an incredibly funky camera bag (perfect for holding new camera 'mote!) and TWO jugs. The cow one has two cows. Obviously they represent me and her but it has to be said I would be the one on the other side, the smaller cow ;-)

This week Smiley Carol has really had to face her fear of my big black dog because I received something in the post EVERY day. Monday my letterbox held a package from Alice Magpie . There may have been a squeal of delight when I opened the parcel to see a Fortnum's bag. things may have got even squealier when I opened up said bag to reveal tins of posh tea and smart biscuits.

Tuesday there was a birthday card from my Auntie Wil insisting I should have a good birthday and that I would celebrate at least another 40. Apparently after I turn 80 all bets are off!

During our day of gratuitous and luxuriant sleeping on Wednesday my assistant flickered a bit when she heard the lid close on the letterbox so when I finally braved the cold (-2 yesterday at 3pm plus windchill) I found a package from Australia waiting for me. Many huge thanks to Annie, Jodie and Rachel for all the beautiful gifts they sent.

From Rachel there were four gorgeous blocks, so perfectly pointy and stitched; I plan on these becoming a cushion quite soon. Annie sent me some of her stunning cards. Princess C-W was particularly smitten with the one of the poppy. And Missus JodieRicrac sent three pieces of fabric and two packs of her billet-doux. I have spent this week wandering around in a haze of loved-upedness and to be honest I am seriously trying to figure out if I can have another one of these in six months because man! I am flying on the lurve!!

The birthday quilt blog will be updated tomorrow but bleow is a collage of the fabric received since Saturday night.

Come back and visit again because there is more to see yet!

There was a party the other night ....

... and like all good parties (I hope it was a good party) there were elegant surrounds,

good company,

fine wines,

good food,

games

and a couple of old reprobates!

Gifties galore to show off next time.

this is the day, this is the day ...

After dinner tonight I was banished from the dining room for five minutes, when recalled I was greeted by this.

This is my family's creation to celebrate my birthday.

I have had a thoroughly enjoyable 36 hours. Dinner last night with CK and Pr.C-W while d/Boy slept over at a friend's. Breakfast out with the two of them again, then all four of us home for present opening followed by a trip out to the cinema. We saw AstroBoy. Turns out this movie polarises people in terms of knowledge, seems the AstroBoy cartoon wasn't shown here in the UK. The kids really enjoyed it and I guess that is the most important thing. Plus it gave me time for a few micro-naps ;-)

I was showered with delicious gifts that ranged from the frivolous (a wooden face mask on a stick to paint and wear at my party next week) to the absolutely stunning (the pearls my father bought my mother in 1969). And I was also the very delighted recipient of 10 more pieces of fabric towards the birthday quilt. The full details are over here but they are so beautiful I thought y'all might want to take a look.

Huh!

Who knew I lived in Narnia?!?

Other than Alice Magpie.

Went to London to visit the Queen but apparently she doesn't see 'derros'

Have I mentioned there has been a 'Rainbow Swap' going on? Some groovey chick I know came up with a plan and loads of luvverly international girlies agreed to take part.

I was delighted when my swap partner turned out to be the truly luvverly and fabulous Charlie P up in The Pigeon Loft . Very thrilled it receive this parcel of rainbowy loveliness last week.

Turns out Young Miss P.L. is incredibly talented as well as clever and beautiful as not only was the button notepaper and matching brooch designed and created by her but so too the fabric!

There was a rainbow explosion of ribbon from a sweet little noodle box chosen by her own fair hand

but I think even a whizzkid such as she would not lay claim to handcrafting the Skittles!

Being a parent of such grace and virtue I even held 0ff scoffing them down until Pr.C-W and d/Boy were home from school to share.

Once the excitement of Rainbow Swapping had died down a bit (three sleeps!) it was time to head up to town to the Big Smoke. Maria Juanita Conchita Gonzales delivered me faithfully to the train station and sat quietly waiting my return.

As I arrived hours before everyone else I let my heart fly free and found myself on Piccadilly at Fortnum and Mason's.

Combination of bucketing rain and d/Boy's school backpack adorning my dog-walking coat gave me a decidedly bag-lady air but they are far too mannered at my beloved F&M to comment (that and there is no doorman).

I swooned from department to department, floor to floor. I delighted in the lighting, the layout, the colours and the products. I even delighted in the prices, knowing full well that some of what they sold was even worth the money.

Already uber-burdened I bought just a few trifles with which to tease my soul.

Single estate chocolate (which the nice man at Loop appreciated on Saturday), some funky marshmallows we taste-tested for pudding last night (lemon was our favourite, violet not so much) and an F&M tea towel which already has a repurpose mission attached to it.

Eventually my past caught up with me and Moog and Locket tracked me down. We mooched up and down Marylebone High Street, enjoying the big city lights. Some of us enjoyed a little more than just the lights!

Then it was off to the plush hotel where it turns out the font of all knowledge isn't actually experience and practice but Messrs Google and Youtube.

It all got too much and Lesley threw herself backwards in sheer frustration.

Never one to miss an opportunity Locket claimed the pillow for herself and just kept on going!

After a great night's sleep for some we packed up our bags, hailed a cab and visited Loop, Liberty and Covent Garden before I gave in and claimed my train seat home.

With a delighted air I spotted Maria Juanita Conchita Gonzales sitting under the street light where I had left her 36 hours earlier. Bags dumped on the passenger seat , into the driver's side and a quick flick of key. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Someone had left the lights on and my little hot tamale was completely drained of her usual bouncy energy. I rang CK to come get me. The phone died before I finished dialling. Taxi was waiting on the rank but a look in my wallet revealed about £2.53 in change. Our little station has NO phonebox. The nearest ATM is a hike.

There was a collection of young people waiting by the station (locked) door so ignoring the half-empty bottles of alcohol they held and explaining my predicament I asked if I could borrow a phone. As one tall blonde lad passed his mobile over, the statesque blonde girl beside him asked "Are you Australian?" in a very Strine accent.

"yes." I replied as I dialled.

"We are too." she finished. Another girl then asked where I was from in Australia. As I said 'Victoria' the phone was whipped from my hand. Holding out my hand I said 'Ah,you will be form New South Wales then..'

As CK answered I remember thinking 'God was I ever that young and stupid?' Sadly the answer was a resounding YES!!

So our story ends with the exhausted princess being driven home by a faithful coachman in his comfortable hansom cab all the way up the hill where her knight in shining armour waited with a ten pound note in his hand to claim his beautiful bride.

THE END