Went to London to visit the Queen but apparently she doesn't see 'derros'

Have I mentioned there has been a 'Rainbow Swap' going on? Some groovey chick I know came up with a plan and loads of luvverly international girlies agreed to take part.

I was delighted when my swap partner turned out to be the truly luvverly and fabulous Charlie P up in The Pigeon Loft . Very thrilled it receive this parcel of rainbowy loveliness last week.

Turns out Young Miss P.L. is incredibly talented as well as clever and beautiful as not only was the button notepaper and matching brooch designed and created by her but so too the fabric!

There was a rainbow explosion of ribbon from a sweet little noodle box chosen by her own fair hand

but I think even a whizzkid such as she would not lay claim to handcrafting the Skittles!

Being a parent of such grace and virtue I even held 0ff scoffing them down until Pr.C-W and d/Boy were home from school to share.

Once the excitement of Rainbow Swapping had died down a bit (three sleeps!) it was time to head up to town to the Big Smoke. Maria Juanita Conchita Gonzales delivered me faithfully to the train station and sat quietly waiting my return.

As I arrived hours before everyone else I let my heart fly free and found myself on Piccadilly at Fortnum and Mason's.

Combination of bucketing rain and d/Boy's school backpack adorning my dog-walking coat gave me a decidedly bag-lady air but they are far too mannered at my beloved F&M to comment (that and there is no doorman).

I swooned from department to department, floor to floor. I delighted in the lighting, the layout, the colours and the products. I even delighted in the prices, knowing full well that some of what they sold was even worth the money.

Already uber-burdened I bought just a few trifles with which to tease my soul.

Single estate chocolate (which the nice man at Loop appreciated on Saturday), some funky marshmallows we taste-tested for pudding last night (lemon was our favourite, violet not so much) and an F&M tea towel which already has a repurpose mission attached to it.

Eventually my past caught up with me and Moog and Locket tracked me down. We mooched up and down Marylebone High Street, enjoying the big city lights. Some of us enjoyed a little more than just the lights!

Then it was off to the plush hotel where it turns out the font of all knowledge isn't actually experience and practice but Messrs Google and Youtube.

It all got too much and Lesley threw herself backwards in sheer frustration.

Never one to miss an opportunity Locket claimed the pillow for herself and just kept on going!

After a great night's sleep for some we packed up our bags, hailed a cab and visited Loop, Liberty and Covent Garden before I gave in and claimed my train seat home.

With a delighted air I spotted Maria Juanita Conchita Gonzales sitting under the street light where I had left her 36 hours earlier. Bags dumped on the passenger seat , into the driver's side and a quick flick of key. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Someone had left the lights on and my little hot tamale was completely drained of her usual bouncy energy. I rang CK to come get me. The phone died before I finished dialling. Taxi was waiting on the rank but a look in my wallet revealed about £2.53 in change. Our little station has NO phonebox. The nearest ATM is a hike.

There was a collection of young people waiting by the station (locked) door so ignoring the half-empty bottles of alcohol they held and explaining my predicament I asked if I could borrow a phone. As one tall blonde lad passed his mobile over, the statesque blonde girl beside him asked "Are you Australian?" in a very Strine accent.

"yes." I replied as I dialled.

"We are too." she finished. Another girl then asked where I was from in Australia. As I said 'Victoria' the phone was whipped from my hand. Holding out my hand I said 'Ah,you will be form New South Wales then..'

As CK answered I remember thinking 'God was I ever that young and stupid?' Sadly the answer was a resounding YES!!

So our story ends with the exhausted princess being driven home by a faithful coachman in his comfortable hansom cab all the way up the hill where her knight in shining armour waited with a ten pound note in his hand to claim his beautiful bride.

THE END