Tuesday, 15 February 2011

My rotten blurry Assistant

This morning I took destructoBoy to school and stopped up at Yukky Old Tesco to collect my phone which they rang me last night to tell me I had left there.

I was out of the house for about 25 minutes.

Only two dogs greeted me at the door on my return. The third was hiding upstairs.

When I went in to the living room I could see why.

Scraps of pink and red foil littered the carpet and a very forlorn mesh bag layed ripped on the floor. Not a scrap of chocolate in sight.

My assistant came down the stairs and tried to be my friend. Really really tried to be my friend. If she were a tall dog her paws would have been over my shoulders.

I turned away and rang the vet.

Apparently 75gm of milk chocolate inside a 10 kg dog is not a poison issue. Although I might want to keep her comfortable as her she may have a sore tummy.

There may have been a gasp of shock as I replied 'Good! I hope it hurts like hell.'

Now I have to tell d/Boy his secret chocolate Valentines are sitting inside the dog.

Rotten fecking blurry assistant


  1. When my furry friend was a pup he demolished half a pound of Belgian chocolates belonging to my eldest. The only ill effects he suffered was a lifetime terror said son. And he's never eaten chocolate since!

  2. As a child I had a hamster who escaped and took one bite out of every chocolate in a box of Black Magic. Poor thing didn't last long :-

  3. Oh dear! Poor puppy/Bad Dog!

    It could have been worse though - they might have been YOUR chocs!

  4. BAD Sweet Puppy! I had to chuckle a little, although it's really not funny. Puppers just wanted a Valentine!

  5. Oh Baaaaaad Dog!!!

    My brother's puppy ate a 200g bar of chocolate at about three months of age. Cost them over £150 at the vets for a v strong emetic drug that brought it all up again all over the surgery floor.

    The dog itself only cost them £100.

    At least your assistant had the good sense to hide so that you knew immediately she'd done something bad!


  6. In my experience the High Intake Chocolate situation is rapidly followed by a High Output Vomit situation. Usually in the middle of the bedroom carpet or by the front door.

  7. LOL my dog so far has eaten a kilo of cooking chocolate,a double pkt choc cake with a jar of nutella icing, bar of cooking margerine,whole tin of alcoholic fudge-scotch,whiskey,drambui(sic)rum-,he left the plain stuff !!, cotton wool,tin foil, embroidery thread-whole skein-,whole new pkt sanitary pads,lip-gloss' etc etc just 2 days ago he got into a friends handbag & ate a pkt chewing gum & a chocolate bar...only been sick twice !! no wonder we call him iron guts !!!