15!

 To celebrate his birthday we took my Big Black Dog to the beach today. 

 On this first non-rainy day in weeks we headed off to Hengistbury Head for some well-deserved VitaminD absorption. Except we couldn't find it. Hengistbury Head that is. Which is ridiculous because it really is quite large but the magnet hidden on the roundabout in middle of Christchurch sent us off in the wrong direction. So we parked up at the Priory and mooched around the quayside. There were lots of swans with the same idea. My Assistant was underimpressed. Nasty yukky big swimmy white chickens apparently.

Mooching through Christchurch brought us to Chilly Wizards, the ice cream shop. Not only did they have fabulous homemade ice creams in yummy flavours (I had whitechocolate/choc chip and honeycomb) but the nice lady offered ice cream in a cone to the birthday boy!

Once our bearings were straight we headed off to the beach proper. En route My Assistant was very chuffed to have found a present for the Big Black Dog. Because a HUGE wild mushroom is just what every aged hound needs.

Eventually we made it and I think he was pleased.

Happy Birthday Big Black Dog.

It is MY dirt and I'm Not sharing.

                        Because I am a terrier. And all 18 cubic tonnes of topsoil are mine.

And I am going to sit on top of this 20 foot long by 10 foot wide by five foot tall pile and never go in for my tea again and you can't make me.

                                          Fine. But you can't make me go in the house.

A morning walk

Such was our delight at seeing a clear sky after so many days of rain My Assistant and I set off on our regular morning walk with extra cheeriness.

Heading away from destructoBoy's school we skirted around the bottom of The Hill past the Community Field. The ducks seem to have left for new homes but the bleating of lambs made up for it.

In the shade of the mature hedgerows the full deliciousness of the dog-roses was revealed.

While further out onto The Common the Rose Bay Willowherb spreads thick and wild over the both sides of the laneway, dwarfing us as we headed back to the car.

Round one final bend and the end of our stroll was in sight.

It was a joy to be outside.

*all pics taken with my camera*

Recent times in pictures

The White Rabbit was late for a seventh birthday party!

Gorgeous Baby Will.

Hanging out on top of The Hill.
My Assistant in the Winter sunshine.

Mother's Day Dinner made by destructoBoy.

My rotten blurry Assistant

This morning I took destructoBoy to school and stopped up at Yukky Old Tesco to collect my phone which they rang me last night to tell me I had left there.

I was out of the house for about 25 minutes.

Only two dogs greeted me at the door on my return. The third was hiding upstairs.

When I went in to the living room I could see why.

Scraps of pink and red foil littered the carpet and a very forlorn mesh bag layed ripped on the floor. Not a scrap of chocolate in sight.

My assistant came down the stairs and tried to be my friend. Really really tried to be my friend. If she were a tall dog her paws would have been over my shoulders.

I turned away and rang the vet.

Apparently 75gm of milk chocolate inside a 10 kg dog is not a poison issue. Although I might want to keep her comfortable as her she may have a sore tummy.

There may have been a gasp of shock as I replied 'Good! I hope it hurts like hell.'

Now I have to tell d/Boy his secret chocolate Valentines are sitting inside the dog.

Rotten fecking blurry assistant

I vant to be alone.

"I vant to be alone."

This is my best side Mr. de Mille."

"Bored now."

"Mirror, mirror on the floor ..."

For Sale.

* Small assistant. Nice line in shouting to be let out before wee accident occurs. Inability to read clock and recognise 'reasonable hour' dictates sales. Terms negotiable.


* Child (blue 2001 model). Quite tall, sound teeth and advancing fixation w style of hair. Growth spurt and resultant shitty moods when required to do something non-compatible w personal life view demand removal from premises. Kicking of tyres when viewing not recommended. All good offers considered.


* Proto-teen (pink 1998 model). Witty, dry SoH. Despite best efforts and years of practice am still unable to communicate w said model. Result - inability of model to understand need to be aware of PE bag when at school. Minimal negotiation on price as need to buy new PE kit. Sadly instruction booklet unavailable. Would suit patient languages student/lecturer.


* Lace pattern book. Thick book w glossy pages and many colour pics. Sadly all patterns include fatal flaw, some just gibberish. Very useful for jigsaw-loving family or care group. Will ensure all pieces included in posting envelope.


* Swap/Trade - buggery awful cough. Just noise, no yuk. Two weeks of ownership means have gotten best from it. Willing to exchange for new lungs and/or oesophaegus. Benefits - sexy husky voice, great abs workout.

ScottFest 2010

Move over Glasto! The kids and I headed to ScottFest last Saturday.

The weather order was filled perfectly. Blue skies, huge fluffy white clouds and no breeze.

We got there early and set-up the prettiest tent in the universe and while the terences went off to explore I sat and read the paper CK had packed for me.

One of the dads took great delight in teaching d/Boy to ride a motorbike. My boy was a bit wobbly to start but after the first circuit of the showgrounds he got it and was off. Ride like the wind Bullseye!

Princess Curly-Wurly took full advantage of the mahoosive blow-up assault course and the stilts (Although fortunately NOT at the same time. No broken legs here thanks.) before comandeering the quad bike and pegging it around the perimeter of the venue as fast as she could. My heart was in my mouth the entire time until she took me on a ride and I realised 'as fast as she could' was not the same as 'as fast as the quad will go'.

Despite packing two bedrolls, three pillows, one mahoosive airbed, three sleeping bags, two duvets, two double thickness fleece blankets, a basket of warm clothes to wear as the evening approached, jammies, loo roll, knitting, drawing paper and pencil, food to keep the troops going through until breakfast including my assistant, water for us all, a deckchair for me and picnic blanket for the rest (breath) two trips were required back up the hill. The first was for more food and water. The second for CK's spare set of car keys because I was sure I had locked his in the boot. The alternative was too dreadful to consider.

The whole event was chilled out and relaxed with people taking it in turns to cook, tend to children, mix and pour drinks. There was a marquee put up so that the evening's entertainment (Nick Tatham) had somewhere to sit while he played and a fire pit for us all to stand around and toast marshmallows once he had finished.

One of my arch-nemesis was there and put his mono-pod (or eco-pod or some such stupid name for a solid-sided domed tent) right in front of my prettiest-tent-in-the-universe. Within about five minutes he came across all smiley, hippy-happy and said

'Can't we be friends? I hate having to avert my eyes when I see people.'

'I'm not the one who said I don't like Australians' says I sunglasses down, attitude high.

'Oh you shouldn't take any notice of that. I'm a South African. (WTF?!?) Friends?' as he stretched out his hand.

Again he said 'Friends?'

Sunglasses still on I agreed and shook his hand, all the while grimacing on the inside.

d/Boy was getting quite tired by 10pm so after making the mahoosive trek to the far end of the Showgrounds and using the real loos (glamping all the way here baby) he, my assistant and I retired for the night. After a 20 minute struggle with the bedding mountain we fell asleep. Princess C-W crawled in at 11.30!

We slept well until half 3 when the requisite night-time wee was required. Of course I could not find the lead so had to hold my assistant while excavating a very sleepy d/Boy from the bedding mountain then around the back of the tent for a wee rather than head to the other end of the field. All relatively straight forward until my bladder decided it too needed to experience the full joy of camping so still holding my assistant I had to undertake all aspects of outdoor weeing with one free hand.

The whole experience was exacerbated by the proximity of the tent to a boarding kennels. My assistant was wriggling like a lunatic and growling through my hand clamped around her jaw all while d/Boy was standing admiring the bazillion stars visible in the cloud-free sky. As we settled back inside the blanket mountain that d/Boy turned to me and said 'I don't like camping.'

We shall see next Summer my boy, we shall see.

The tale end of the birthday.

This was the last birthday cake of destructoBoy's birthday week.

The Old Man Dog's help breaking into the Treasure Chest was graciously declined.

The 'X' was located and the treasure found.

There was smashing, joy and excitement.

And at the end - complete exhaustion.

*NEWSFLASH* Assistant denied chance to fulfill destiny

Eeeeeeeeuuw!

Just looked out window while washing dishes and saw socking great big cheeky skinny-tailed squirrel saunter onto grass, turn back toward shed before heading out across the Lower 40 and in behind the compost bin.

Part of me wants to let my assistant out to unleash the full force of her combined Highland heritage upon its Rattus norvegicus hide.

The other part has locked the front door and is glad she is asleep on the couch after a solid walk with Princess Curly Wurly this afternoon.

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CK has just informed there are at least two and they seem to have set up home in the shed.

:-#

OK non-believers, hold on to your hats!

This is said quilt in its finished and drapey state. Pretty, non?
Filled with lovely colours Emma Scrapbag put together, interesting texture in the chenille.
A mix of both my worlds with the inner fabric a blog friend gift and the outer a mix of shirts
(one of which I actually loved and wore - don't tell my mother about the other) and a dress belongum Princess C-W.

And then we have the binding.
Gorgeous girlie, frilly pretty binding a gift from a friend.
Binding that was machine-stitched on both sides.
Oh Patch Andi, you clever, clever girl to make me feel brave enough to try this.

And then we have several reasons why it took so long to actually finish completely and 100%.

A farming success.

Two weeks ago my assistant decided it was time to harvest the crops down in the Lower 40

There was much dirt scattered as these beauties were uncovered.

On reflection the harvesting may have been a bit premature, the largest of these was about 2.25 cm and the smallest about .5 cm

General consensus says this was the best part of the holidays.

Four children.

Clear skies.

One inflatable ring.

Much hilarity and laughter.

'Hmmm...not having fun yet you know.'

Easter holidays 2010

chocolate.

Chocolate pancakes.

Tilling and seeding the Lower 40. Potatos, onions and flowers all planted.

New tent! Bought with their own money. Has been a source of great delight and fun since it was first put up.

Uhoh!

After a fabulous half hour hacking through the undergrowth d/Boy found 25 tennis balls. Funny how he got everyone's attention.

d/Boy went on a patisserie kick. We had eclairs. It is safe to say these were greatly enjoyed.

Text conversations

Princess C-W went on a sleepover last night.

She took the recently refound cheapy mobile phone we bought last year for Granma's visit.

I received five gazillion messages, most of them saying 'Hi Mum :-)', a few telling me how cool the den they were building was, one asking for ideas as to what they might include in said den then another saying simply 'Muuuuum ;-) ;-)'. This one followed on from my suggestion of ' ...all them crazy elephant bones.'

CK sent her one at 7.30 last night telling her to go tell the mother in the house that it was past time for her (Princess C-W) to go to bed. Her reply? 'No! Very busy den making.'

CK has just shown me text from this morning - 'Come home NOW. I miss you. Love Izzy'

The response? 'I'm having my breakfast now go have yours and leave dad's phone alone. Love Pr.C-W'

A February finish.

My assistant claimed this one.

Seems she is prepared to overlook the eagle-beaky, non-ovine shaped nose of the wee sheep.

Am not sure I am prepared to overlook her stretching out on Maria's backseat after she rolled in the stinkiest badger poo ever. Or the fact that the only cleaning product within arm's reach as I bathed her was my Neal's Yard citrus handwash.

Revenge came later in the afternoon with a pair of scissors, some wispy hair around her ears and 15 minutes of thoroughly enjoyable (for me) coat cutting.

We set extremely low ambitions for these holidays ....

.... unfortunately we fell short of achieving them.

These past two weeks have been among the most slothful I can remember spending. Ever.

Grandad's Christmas present after my assistant's exploration.

I was more energetic in the weeks after birthin' babies than I have been over this Christmas.

our seasonal lttle village

I have discovered a new skill or two in this time, been delighted with thoughtful gifts from family new friends and old.

tablerunner I am in love with and adore

sweet Christmas star from Casey Random

But now the decorations are packed away, the last of the holiday fare has been consumed and it is time to return to a more normal operating schedule.

Wish us luck!