* Small assistant. Nice line in shouting to be let out before wee accident occurs. Inability to read clock and recognise 'reasonable hour' dictates sales. Terms negotiable.
* Child (blue 2001 model). Quite tall, sound teeth and advancing fixation w style of hair. Growth spurt and resultant shitty moods when required to do something non-compatible w personal life view demand removal from premises. Kicking of tyres when viewing not recommended. All good offers considered.
* Proto-teen (pink 1998 model). Witty, dry SoH. Despite best efforts and years of practice am still unable to communicate w said model. Result - inability of model to understand need to be aware of PE bag when at school. Minimal negotiation on price as need to buy new PE kit. Sadly instruction booklet unavailable. Would suit patient languages student/lecturer.
* Lace pattern book. Thick book w glossy pages and many colour pics. Sadly all patterns include fatal flaw, some just gibberish. Very useful for jigsaw-loving family or care group. Will ensure all pieces included in posting envelope.
* Swap/Trade - buggery awful cough. Just noise, no yuk. Two weeks of ownership means have gotten best from it. Willing to exchange for new lungs and/or oesophaegus. Benefits - sexy husky voice, great abs workout.