When life gives you lemons...

... or ...

What do you do when you find that the 'free to good home' apples you picked up from someone's doorstep are bruised and holey and sooooo sharp that just smelling them makes your tongue dry up?

Well, you make Dorset Apple cake!

The King's Speech Cake.

Tonight is Oscar Night and from early this morning I hadgeared myself up to stay awake into the early hours so I could cheer as Colin Firth climbed to the podium clad in breeches and a damp muslin shirt.

Earlier in the week my cake guru posted this ace recipe which seemed perfect to nibble on as golden statues were awarded and emotional speeches declared so this afternoon I conjured one up. The recipe was followed exactly, which gave my restraint muscles a mahoosive workout, and I am delighted I did.

Look how gorgeous that cake crust is! And see those plump juicy sultanas peeking out through it? YUM! I put mine in a bigger tin than TCC suggested but a girl can only obey the rules so far right? ;-)

During dinner I explained my plan for staying up late. In case it clashed with his viewing line-up CK asked me what channel it was on, this in turn meant perusing the Radio Times so I could calm his nerves. After several many minutes I threw up my hands in horror when it became clear my night of heightened emotions, fake smiles and clips from movies I have never (and probably will never) see was only being shown on the bastard love child of Sir Rupert Murdoch and a lesser demon and we don't own a satellite dish.

Crushed. I was crushed.

There was nothing else for it. I cut straight in and we ate it right then.

Man! That is a fabulous cake.

The tale end of the birthday.

This was the last birthday cake of destructoBoy's birthday week.

The Old Man Dog's help breaking into the Treasure Chest was graciously declined.

The 'X' was located and the treasure found.

There was smashing, joy and excitement.

And at the end - complete exhaustion.

All in all a busy week really.

OK so really the week began on Friday 3 September but how ridiculous to start a new school year on a Friday. Bah!

All dressed up in her 'big school' uniform my girl left the house to start a whole new adventure.

Then on the Monday proper it was destructoBoy's birthday.

*Presents. *Teatime cake. *Playing with the teatime cake. *Racing Granma's car.

This coincided with two new ventures here on top of the hill. One that involves an extra nine yo 6/10 mornings during termtime and the other was the whirling dervish arrival of the AbFab puppy.

TG we only have her for a few weeks as I am sure both my assistant and the old men dogs would be moving out at the thought of it becoming even semi-permanent.

Smiley Carol got brave enough one morning to deliver my fabulous parcel in the 'As You Like It' Swap 2010.

So much swappy loveliness from Jane. My themes were clouds (because I am such a geeky nerd and love looking up at them and the shapes they make)and also apples. Jane played with both and these are the results.

All the loot.

*Two of my favourite things - Amy Butler fabric and Snickers (those chocolate bars are so teeny weeny!).*Front and back of the pincushion (oh how clever is that Amusement Park fabric?). *Lovely appley Thank You cards. *Super smart Paisley notebook I had to put out of Pr C-W's hands. * Tissues that made me smile. * Sweet appley fabric basket in which to place all the teeny weeny US bob. * The cloudy back of my lovely Ticker Tape quilty hanging.

And then the front of the ticker Tape Quilt.

There is so much going on it is eyecandy for the soul. An eyeful of sweetness and a colour high every time I look at it. I just love it. Thank you Jane it is all simply delicious.

Wednesday after school d/Boy and I invented 'sweetie/Nerf shooting'.

*Throwing out the bob. * Bullet firing. The premise being if he hit the bob he could eat it. Needless to say the bob were safe ;-)
So much of this week (and the last) has been taken up with 'doing' Pr C-W's room . It went from this -

To this.

And yesterday the carpet man came and laid a brand new raspberry pink carpet. Farewell threadbare, stinky, horrid, 40 yo Axminster.

So while the man was laying the pretty new carpet yesterday I started the party baking. We have gold coins, some skellington and 'X marks the spot' biscuits. In the bottom R corner is the 'wooden treasure chest' sitting over the cake.



Right then. Off to bed in preparation for the onslaught.

Phew! I think we have the cakes sorted.

There is a tradition up here at Trash Towers of two birthday cakes on your birthday.

Yes that is correct two, because what is a birthday without cake for breakfast?

destrutoBoy has requested Lemon Drizzle to start the day which is a fresh, zingy (sugar-laden) flavour to kickstart the celebrations. Perfect choice as a recent Good Food had a recipe for a gluten-free lemon cake and I reeeeeeeeeeaaally wanted to try it.

Wish I hadn't.

It was yuk. Squooshy texture and an unceratin taste that left my tongue perplexed. So need to find another recipe (hurrah for the innernets) and also make small cakes to take into school.

The birthday boy has asked for a surprise for the teatime one. I am currently torn between A)something pool table-ish as this is his current fascination and B) something I can cover in small, plastic horses and ponies as I have been telling him for weeks he can expect 'the birthday pony' to turn up for his present.

This joke has been pleasingly exacerbated by the number of saddles and riding kit we have seen in windows of charity and junk shops recently and the fact that it is harvest time and the roads are filled with mahoosive trailers laden high with haybales.

Right then. Let the baking commence!

Easter holidays 2010

chocolate.

Chocolate pancakes.

Tilling and seeding the Lower 40. Potatos, onions and flowers all planted.

New tent! Bought with their own money. Has been a source of great delight and fun since it was first put up.

Uhoh!

After a fabulous half hour hacking through the undergrowth d/Boy found 25 tennis balls. Funny how he got everyone's attention.

d/Boy went on a patisserie kick. We had eclairs. It is safe to say these were greatly enjoyed.

OK, first you have to pretend it is still Tuesday.

And then you have to imagine there is sunshine. And no rain. And that the wind, when it whips through, isn't icy.

It being February halfterm meant we had to meet up with Family Moog in crappy weather and force our children on a route march of some senic venue. So after some texting we settled on Hengistbury Head on Tuesday. Lunch timeish. Mrs Moog was going to make pancakes.

'Triffic! I'll get Pr. C-W to make her chicken and sweetcorn soup.' I said.

With dread we followed BBC 5 Day weather forecast over the weekend. However stiff upper lip, best foot forward and all that and with a bazgillion changes of clothes in the boot we set off in CK's car for an adventure. CK's car was a necessity as once three pair of wellies are stashed in Maria's boot there is room for nothing else, let alone coats, towels and a basket of food such as may sustain weary travellers.

Despite a slight detour (bloody Kate, CK's satnav!) we got to Hengistbury to discover there are TWO car parks! Which one? Never mind I shall phone Missus Moog and clarify. Oh wait! What is this? My phone has NO power?? Triffic!

However Missus Moog did NOT know about the second car park and as I went back to check it out I passed the Moogsmobile, executing a quick u-turn I ended up parking CK's boring wagon next to the Moogsmobile and right in front of the grass bank where destructoBoy, Princess Curly-Wurly and my assistant were standing shivering in the rain, my beacon of blog-readiness to the world.

Fortunately by the time we actually got to the beach the weather was slightly more friendly with just low cloud, light drizzzle and delicate breeze and so the ball was flung for my assistant who ran her little terrier heart out. (Sometimes she even picked the ball up!) And the smalls ran, clambered, pitched and screeched. Much fun was had by all. Back to the cars for lunch and pancakes - Go Missus Moog, flipper extraordinaire!

Being such a generous soul Missus Moog was kind enough to share with these two scary hoodies lurking in the carpark.

It was only as said pannekoek were being scoffed that one particularly not-intelligent blogger may have said 'Hey! Today is Shrove Tuesday!!

I wish I had the strength to say more ...

... my plan was to write a post about my girl turning eleven today but after 18 hours with half a dozen proto-teenage girls in the house and a cumulative sleep total of about five hours between the eight of us (d/Boy was on a boys' sleepover off the hill) ontop of nearly two days of clearing up in the kitchen while the bazillion cakes baked I am k-nackered.

20 cents worth of mixed lollies please.

Sucked in - sorry. There aren't really any lollies (sweets/candy/bonbons) and I have a sneaking suspiscion that 20cents would buy very little any more but that kind of question was a cornerstone of my childhood. Aaaah Delaylands, you were a milk bar (off-licence, cornershop) extraordinaire. This post is a kind of mixed bag too.

Last Tuesday I said goodbye (finally) to my lubbard Audi. I wouldn't wish to swap Maria Juanita Conchita Gonzalez you understand but the Audi was special (even when it kept breaking down). However the nice man came and took it away and gave me a little smackerel of something to ease the sting of loss.

Last week we also said goodbye to our beloved Vicar Anne at school. Anne makes me wish I could do the whole religious faith thing. There was an afterschool tea party which of course meant cakes. Caked Crusader had recently posted a recipe for Rolo cake which seemed ideal. Mine was perfect as it cooked, the top all domed and slightly crisped and the tester clear when I drew it out from the middle. I don't know why it came out clean because within five minutes of being out of the oven this happened.

I couldn't take that to the cake table.

So I had to have a piece for lunch ;-)

As a parting gift from the school Anne was presented with a beautiful pedestal platter/cake plate/mahoosive communion wafer holder created by a local potter. While I feel sure she was genuinely pleased with it I love how instinctively she overreacts for the children.

Oh Vicar Anne we will, we will miss you (the school sang her a farewell to the tune of her favouritest song ever. )

Admittedly a little late here on the blog are the pictures for The Women's Colony Colour Challenge for this week.

Blue. Not much blue in my part of the world this time of year so I trawled back through my picture files to find just the colour blues I knew I wanted to post.
L-R
Melbourne Aquarium, Victoria, Australia. January 09.
Winchester, Hants, UK. July 2009
Coastal Victoria, Australia. January 2009
Melbourne Aquarium, Victoria, Australia. January 09.

And as the last red frog gets slipped into the paperbag before money changes hands (back on the lolly thing) let me tell you all about the FABULOUS giveaway being held by my very lovely friend Brenda over at Pumpkin Patch Primitives.

You see, not only does Brenda make fabulous quilts out of snuggly flannnel(ette) and crisp cottons, she also sells the beautiful fabrics and gorgeous notions to go calm your inner crafter with. As well as being handy with the stitching Brenda paints my kind of painting too, loving the folk art. And to top it all off she also homeschools my new boyfriend (sorry Barak it just wasn't working out. I need more attention) - I'm just offering that as an option G.P., you know - in case the candy bribe doesn't work ;-)

On offer to celebrate Halloween and all things pumpkiny Brenda is offering a Fat Quarter Bundle of Red Rooster's Pumpkins & Spice Fabrics by Whimsicals. Just so y'all know that is 27 FQs!! A girl could get a lot of fabulous quiltage out of all that fabric. But best you go pay her a visit quickly as entries are only being accepted until midnight on Saturday, October 31.

My husband went to D.C. and all I got was EVOO.

CK has been back 36 hours annd things have returned to normal. We did miss him, really we did but how can one person create so much washing? However we forgave him those lil' piles of shirts and socks because he brought home presents. Yay!!!!!!!

AS part of their hot date WMK took CK somewhere amazing. Somewhere he would find all he needed to make his soul sing with happiness or at least have my soul singing with happiness which is the same thing really, don't you think? Because he knows me so well he found the perfect something -

I have many cake tins. Many, many cake tins. All different shapes and sizes ranging from ancient tin ones that seem to be the legacy of this house through to uber-whizzy silicone ones. Some are basic while others are of a more complex design. At last count there were 30 plus, so many in fact that they have their own cupboard in the kitchen, but I have the same issue with every single one of them - no matter what I do to the tins the blurry cake stays stuck inside. I have greased and floured to within an inch of my life, I have lined tins with brown paper, greaseproof and on one weird day there was an elephant involved (don't ask) nothing EVER comes out all the way evenly each time. But not this time, oh no...

I followed the instructions on the packaging (boy do all y'all Americans cook with a LOT of sugar!) and left the cakes to sit for 15 minutes. Then, nervously, with a flick of my wrist out they all came POP! from the pan.

Tah Dah!!!!

But that wasn't his only purchase there, oh no. Obviously attracted by its pumpkin-coloured cover he also brought me home this.

And do you know what I love about this book? It has real recipes in it that I can make. In fact this one may be for dinner tomorrow night ~mmmmmmm, onion.

It is also a cultural reference text., I cannot believe that it took several sightings of the word before I figured out 'Stoup'

A really thick soup but kind of like a really thin stew - Stoup!

(Here comes the analogy bit that left CK less than thrilled) This book is more 'Reader's Wives than Playboy (and I am NOT searching for links!). and I really do mean that in the best possible way. The recipes in this book are makeable, I already own or have easy access to the ingredients. I can make the food without a mahoosive amount of organisation.

Cultural openess aside - in its original form I am NEVER making this one!

But any harsh feelings about being fed rodents is tossed to one side with the introduction of our new favourite word in the whole entire world.

Oh EVOO, how we love you. You have made us laugh so hard our tummies hurt. Sunday afternoon while lazing in the hammock I called into the house 'EVOO!' and was met with the thunder of stamping feet and chanting voices. 'EVOO, EVOO, EVOO' echoed around the garden. We are in the grip of it here and now. You may keep your Swine Flu and economic crisis. We ignore your political meltdown and social collapse. We are tucked safe in the world of EVOO!!!!!!!

Helllllooooo!!!!!!!!!

Is there anyone still out there?

Through no fault of my own (this time, ahem) the posh whizzy Vaio has been sick for a few weeks and is even currently in hospital at the computer shop. This is the first time in 17 years of knowing CK that he has been unable to fix a breakage on the computer so it must have some serious issues.

This has meant any computering has been done via Jane or Nancy (CK's little handheld Dell Axims) for nearly two weeks now. I have been able to read most blogs (But Pioneer Woman? Your site is soooooooooo huge.) and even comment on a few. Sadly I have been unable to actually blog as neither Jane nor Nancy is happy to share tales of Hilltop life with the wider world. However today CK rigged up the 'dead (I had a bath)' Dell laptop to speak with the Innernets again so HURRAH!! Here I am :-)

It has been a busy few weeks so if you can bear with me I have a picture or two to share over the next few posts.

Most recently - Easter.

For no discernable reason destructoBoy thought this rather yummy chocolate 'babbit' was apt for me ;-)

Easter Monday was rather lovely around here. We did some gardening.

Then before that was the bloggy picnic. Unfortunately I entrusted the camera to Pr. C-W and d/Boy so we only have two pictures of the event, both contain fuzzy images of elbows and knees.


However as I am so late in posting about it there will be pictures on other sites I feel sure. Except Moogsmum. Don't go there, she has doctored a picture to make me look quite odd!


What I can offer you is a photo of the picnic quilt I started to construct to take to sit on. I didn't finish it but on of my ex-children had a lovely time playing tea parties on it while it was laid out to figure out the finished design.

It is made up of the charm square assortment I was sent by Kylie. Theoretically it is a dark/light construction but...... towards the end of the initial sewing stage things got a bit lax. Ahem, moving swiftly on ........................



I was given a bunch of flowers by CK one night several many days ago now. He had been away in Madchester for a week having a love-in with all the other boffins in the company so the kids got magazines and bob and I got fleurs.

The reflection is in the door of the fireplace.

Way, way back many, many moons ago it was Mother's Day here in the UK. CK asked what I would like to eat. I replied anything I didn't have to make.

Princess Curly-Wurly was responsible for lunch.

Obviously it is a crown. Perhaps the ham is a cape and the pickles/gherkins sceptres? I am unclear as to the role of the Pringles but undoubtedly they are out to further their position at court. Notice how they are cuddling up to the injured pickle?


Then destructoBoy constructed dinner. And I do mean constructed.

The baked beans were a beard. I feel he may need to trim the hair in his ears though!!

The (decidely odd) hand of CK can be detected in both these meals

This is a birthday present from back in Feb to the ex-child of mine in the tea party picture.

This was were the first tranche of Kylie squares went. I had fun with this and while it will never win awards for any part of its construction she is thrilled with it. And when you are three it really is all about you, don't you know?

Pre-Easter (pre-Lent in fact) I bought this rather gorgeous tin thinking to make rather gorgeous Easter cakes, plus I don't happen to think having five different rabbit-shaped cake tins is excessive. Whatever anyone else may say!

d/Boy and I had a lovely morning at the very beginning of the holidays baking and one of the tins we used was this.

Oh disappointment :-(

They were jammed tight into all little crevices and while they did come out it was more like eaten jointed rabbit pieces rather than sweet bunny shapes.

We forced ourselves to consume the lot though ;-)

On the same day I bought my lubbard flamingo fabric I also found these.

Oh Elumps! I see this becoming the inside to a shopping bag. Just think, there would be no need to ever make a list because as we know - elumps never forget.

My mother bought some of this at Spotlight during TGTH and I kicked myself (metaphorically obviously) I didn't get any. Hurray when I found a bolt in fabric shop in the big town!

And dragonflys!!!!!

Loving the brightness. I may get brave and make this into a slipover type for Princess C-W.

We shall see.....