Alone. All alone.

So here I am, the day before the end of January and I have been kicked out of my home.

I shouldn't complain really I suppose.

The sun is shining. The sky is blue and finally the temperature has risen into positive numbers. That and the fact that my banishment is only temporary. As I wait for the ping of the text message to say I am allowed back I am sitting ina flash chain coffe shop at a table with comfy seats. I have an uber-trashy newspaper, CK's baby laptop, my knitting plus a MAHOOSIVE hot chocolate has been consumed.

One can only imagine the things that are taking place back at Trash Towers.

Last year during my exclusion they were designing and decorating the '40' magnet that now adorns my fridge. The year before I walked the dogs in the bitter cold and dark while they secretly baked a cake. Apparently it was CK's determination to keep it secret that stopped him washing the dishes that were already waiting to be done. You see, he didn't want me becoming suspicious so he only did the implements of baking. He was corrected of this misapprehension very swiftly.

Tomorrow will show the results of today's adventures.

So anyway this past week up at Trash Towers we have

- had the architect visit and been extremely excited to think we wouldn't need planning permission but reality soon intruded. (I know I have posted this already but I did say the ecitement was extreme!!!)

- had words with destructoBoy's teacher bc I am sending him to school in tears as he is so bored. Was very restrained about the whole thing and tried to work w her (trust me it isn't easy) but think the older, v . experienced teacher sidling into room on a pretext during meeting AND then contributing more than a little rude and quite odd.

- been pondering the balance of letting daughter attend much desired sleepover vs not wishing her to watch 'Zombieland' movie OR 'Sun, sea & sex' tv programme.

- been gobsmacked at friend thinking it funny to point out on Facebook that she thinks I talk to much. Perhaps I do love but there is a time and place is all I am saying.

- watched OMD become increasingly wobbly-headed and unsteady. Think he may have had another episode. Current in-house theory is extreme cold exacerbates his condition.

- found job to apply for. Right field, close-by, not ridiculous hours. All this adds up to me being unlikely to get it! Never mind, shall send in application anyway.

- have given into the frigging headcold that has been visiting. Am so completely over having to exist on lipbalm and water. Promise that one day my lips will be uncracked?

- made one of Jodie's softies. OK so his head is a little skewiff and I didn't put on the seperate face bit that actually makes him a monkey but d/Boy and I were pleased.

- made a fairy skirt for god-daughter bc it is really only 4yo who will wear the things I make (see note about 'skewiff' above).

- tried to knit lace patterns. With each attempt I manage several rows correctly and then BAM! the whole thing goes wrong. Do you think it is personal?

- had a pedicure AND an eyelash tint. Beautician lady is also teaching assistant at d/Boy's school so indulged in good gossip. Plus tint was free as she was practising for her course. Noice!

- planned day out to Southampton with CK tomorrow. John Lewis, Ikea, Waterstones and as many other nice shops as I can fit into the available time there. Damn you school pick-up necessity!

- made biscuits AND cake for school cake stall.

- had lunch with lovely friends in gorgeous cottage. Some people just have the magic touch with design and acessories.

- been with a friend when she received horrible news.

- , as always, taken time to be grateful and appreciative of the small things that make up life.

Wishing you all a fabulous February.

Why do I like hanging out with little kids?

Because they don't roll their eyes at my fabulously funny, homemade jokes.

Ready?



Sure?



OK. Here goes........



What do you call red and white string when it coughs?

Twine flu!!!!!!!!!!


A bottle of fermented grape juice when it coughs?

Wine flu!!!!!!!!!


How about -

Your back is sore and achey and starts to cough?

Spine flu!!!!!!!!


I got more, stay with me.


You know Alf from 'Home and Away'. Strewth! Poor Alf is sick, all his joints are sore and he has a high temperature. Strike* me! Poor old Alf has ......

...... Strine flu!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Once she stopped rolling her soooooooooo grown-up 10 y.o. girl eyes there was even an offering from Princess C-W.


If your tree has a BARKing cough?


Obviously it is suffering from Pine flu!!!!!!!!!














*scroll down to Number Four.

I went to London on Friday.

and do you know what Innernets? It was a very big and busy place!

Not so big and busy that I was able to hide from those crazy real imaginary people who have been haunting my blog for some time now.

Having collected Missus Moog from the ABBA train station, we (Missus Moog, Wonderwoman and myself) set off for Islington - along with two thirds of the population of the UK. On arrival we were a little taken aback as the queue to get into the C.L. fair stretched down around the building and snaked its way along the road into the next block!!!!!! There really wasn't much for a girl to do other than join the wait and take out her knitting to pass the time!

Finally we got in and were descended upon by one highly excited Locket and marginally more cicumspect Gina. Obviously I had to be a little nice to Locket as she had my ticket but once through the door I dropped all pretence and reverted to my normal charmless self.

The (by-now-traditional) blogger meet-up gift exchange thing took place (in order thanks to Locket, Gina and Lesley)

and then I ran off and hid from them all because to be honest (with the exception of Ali, Locket's bossy big sister and occasionally Gina) they were appallingly behaved - swigging wine, making vendors think they had a sale, being rude about other shoppers and getting sworn at! This doesn't even begin to cover the whole 'showing of exceedingly large pieces of cloth' thing. Or the 'quiche filled with cement' thing.

The afternoon was rounded off with a trip to Loop. I think the bumping of their cases over the London pavements had made both Locket and Missus Moog slightly crazed, I'm not sure either is fit to be out publicly in shops. There was a suggestion from the lovely man at Loop that we may like to offer compensation for the whole situation. I would just like to offer my apologies now and ask that he hold off on lawyers for as bit until I can speak with those two ;-)

Thankfully Wonderwoman (not!) went home quite happy, clutching a bag full of gorgeous Manos del Uruguay. I had to pry it from her hands to get her coat off her when we got on the train.

Then to finish off my trip you won't believe WHO came off the train behind me and got into the car parked next to mine!! Yes, that instigator of A.R.S.E. - Mrs Ibsongay. I watched carefully in my rearview mirror all the way up the hill!

It's heeeeerrrreeee!!!!!!!!

THE BOX has made it home safe and sound - you guys weren't kidding about the tape on that sucker, were you?


I have taken three thousand and twelve million photies unfortunately this very old computer isn't really a friend when it comes to dowloading my pictures so that shall have to wait. But you are all so amazingly kind and generous and lovely and wonderful and I shall be offering proposals of marriage to you all at some point.


The only thing that has come back to me is the balls of red (burgundy, maroon, etc) yarn and quite honestly I am chuffed b/c I really liked that yarn.


Once I finally got inside THE BOX I found a veritable Aladdin's cave - yarn, beads, gold, patterns, oh, oh, oh!!!!


I have put together a list to tide you over until there are pictures. If you recognise something you put in these please let me know. In case you didn't get my email or are choosing to ignore me (ha! as if!!)


two balls of *sparkly gold* green, v. soft yarn brand RYC. (Is this Rowan, I don't know??)
two balls of multi-hued blue/green Debbie Bliss yarn
A watercolour paper pad v. pleased to see this as donkeys take up a lot of paper ;-)

a set of watercolour pencils
a box of small beads (greens, pinks and some metallicy ones)
a skein pink lacing braid
spool of gold thread
a bag of blue and pale blue and white beads
bag mixed buttons
Pre-stamped, cross-stitch baby bib
Portable stitch storer spool gadget thing
'All Our Yesterdays' cross-stitch kit of children on a beach
a Melly & Me 'Mrs Perkins' pattern
fabulous lime green, blue and chartreuse floral pattern fat quarter
three pieces of v. delicate, pretty floral swiss cotton
Elements Star bead necklace kit
1 'fat quarter metre' of pretty flowerpots w flower on pale background
'Village Fabrics'
Elephant wooden spoon kit and dinosaur pencil pot kit
purple bead bracelet in pretty bag
Brown w small geometric pattern fat quarter.
A teddy bear kit with patterns for both Noggin and Nutmeg



Some huge thank yous on top of the already grateful and joyous thank yous I expressed before.

Lesley over at Moogsmum who has made me a real ass in the course of this swap ;-)DottyCookie who made a fantastic set of stitch markers AND THEN put them on a teenyweeny little piece of knitting with titchy needles. It is so wonderous that I shall be backing it, attaching a pin to have myself a fabulous brooch!
Kitty who sent me a sweet card.
Gina sent me something I have longed for for some time - a tin (right there I was pleased) of cupcake papers and flags from Momiji. *le sigh*



Last but not least was the presence of The Blue Guy in the box. It was mentioned to me at some point as THE BOX made its way around the troops and I had assumed this was the Blue Guy who played in people's homes and then went back to WMK tell all. But this one came with a passport and his very own camera so I have my fingers crossed that he will be allowed to stay :-)



It has been great fun to have organised this lazy man's swap. I know that Snailblazer's original Box Swap has also recently returned home to roost. She and I are currently in talks about a U.K. v. Aus BOX SWAP in 2009. I shall keep you posted.............

Will UPDATE

Spoke Dad del Will tonight.

As a surprise for their two girls the dada didn't tell them that when they got home from school this afternoon Mama and Baby Will would be sitting in the sofa waiting for massive hellos, smiles and cuddles!

So a millionty twelve thank yous to all in the blogoverse who sent positive thoughts out into the ether, he is home and hopefully will just keep getting bigger and better from here on out.






On a somewhat related note I need YOUR help.

I bought a knitting magazine sometime in the Winter and it had a pattern for prem cardigans. Having successfully knitted one I verrrrry carefully hid the pattern from myself and now my friend has asked for just such a thing to keep our boy warm. In complete good friend mode (who can resist a trip to the bestest ever shop in the world?) I bought some indigo and flax Sublime soya cotton to make a stripey cardi but have NO IDEA where iIhave extremely safely put the @*&$%% pattern.


Here's the bit where you come in - does anyone have a simple stocking stitch cardi pattern for prem babies? Please would you be so kind as to share it with me?

Thanks again blogoverse :-)

swaps, plans and posting and French Knots. (edited)

SWAPS

Kitty has received and posted pictures about the lil ol' quilt we made here at Trash Towers to send her. And luckily for us she remembered to take pictures (ahem, I forgot!).

Shhh don't tell her but I lifted one shot from her page. The quilt came up quite well, huh? Many thanks go to WonderWoman for her help in understanding binding. (Yes I really am that crubbish.)

I am still loving that little donkey. He just looks kind of happy and chilled. Did you notice his eye? French Knot. Yes, yes you all groan. French knots ((yawn)) they are sooooo easy who would even look twice at them? Well. Me! Because that is the first ever French Knot that worked for me - EVER. So once the front was all done I got a little silly on the back and French Knotted all over the place. My original plan had been to use seed beads to look like twinkly stars in the sky but once I got the technique, well....................... so there are teeny, weeny acid yellow and green French Knots dotted around.

I have begun Locket's quilt but we have a ballet recital this weekend and I have to make a spider costume and turn Pr C-W's tutu into a bumblebee outfit by Wednesday so I think it will all have to wait a day or two.


PLANS

I've been thinking some more on this BOX SWAP thing. And I am good for it. Yes. I am putting my hand up (and believe me, b/c I am sooo lazy, that is all my energy gone for the day) and becoming a swap organiser.



So, here are the swap rules
1. You may take ANY three(3) things out of THE BOX
2. You must replace them with three(3) things of your own choosing.
3. The replaced items do not have to be brand new or bought specially. You may choose items from your stash and charity shop buys are allowed. Naturally anything to be included will be in good condition.
4. Think outside THE BOX (hahahahaha! I am soooooooo punny!!) , the items you include don't have to be for a craft you love.
5. Once you receive THE BOX try and aim for a few days turnaround. In fact (oo!oo!) we could try and set ourselves a target to get it back all the way up here to Trash Towers within x weeks!

Or not.


With THE BOX in mind I went hunting today. Have raided through my stash, identified wants from my LYS, braved the snotty craft shop and trawled through the several many charity shops on our High Street to make a start. So far there are eight signed up for it and only one is international (I think) so....

POSTING

..... I shall start by sending THE BOX to WMK and inside will be a list of where to next so even though you know it is coming you won't know when!!! Kind of like a secret swap but not.

I am going to cap this at twelve(12) participants as otherwise it could get too long and unwieldy for my spongey, lazy brain to deal with. If this all works well then I will consider another one if people are interested. I would prefer to keep this within the UK if we can (WMK just got a little lost which is how she finds herself on the East Coast of the US - direction is not her forte, bless her) (Apparently Genevieve gets lost too!)

Feel free to publicise this on your own blogs and if you want to be a BOX RAIDER please email me your preferred contact name, address and if you are willing to post overseas. The email address is trashalouatgooglemaildotcom or there is a direct link over in the sidebar.

Everyone who expressed interest on the previous post is on my list and as we speak I am working on my terribly clever b-i-l to see if he will construct a button for us ;-)

Lastly - young Will. Not so great so up the power of positive thought for me y'all. We want him home soon.

Dear Innernets, I'm just going out. I may be gone some time.

The nice Amazon man came to my house this morning.



He brought me presents.



I love them.


Wanna see?

Look! An embroidery party!

I have to make these!

I am going to make the kids make these!

And one of these.

But mean and horrid old CK, ably assissted by my own traitorous conscience, has said I have to finish everything else first.


So, despite the driving snow and howling gales, the great outdoors of my UFO/WIP pile beckons. Dear Innernets, I am just going out. I may be sometime................

Of course the original addiction still has a verrrrrry strong hold...

CK went to Scortln (this is the closest I get to spelling my atrocious Scottish accent. For those North of the border - if it is too nasty please forgive me.) last night which left me alone studiously avoiding my NVQ homework, watching a Johnny Cash biog and knitting the fabulous yarn the divine Miss K included in her swap parcel. I didn't read the label until over the halfway point and apparently I am supposed to crochet with it (oops! I don't crochet)!

So I was sitting there ignoring said homework (Child protection stuff - not nice) when I heard a very odd noise. Like a whisper, a callling. After turning down the sound a little on the telly it was more audible ' bUy ME. OWn mE. LOVE me. YOu nEEd Me.' I tracked it over to the laptop and when the screen cleared I could see Amazon laid before me like some wanton wench on a wild night out!

I did try and resist, really I did. But the pull was too strong. I must confess to you all here and now that I was weak. Oh yes. Mea culpa, mea culpa mea maxima culpa! Before I knew quite what had happened I said yes here and here.


After that it was just a small step to saying yes here.

Then in effort to expiate my guilt I said yes to this but Your Honour it is to be read by and with Babyman and Princess Curly-Wurly so I ask that my motherly fondness be taken into consideration when sentencing. For as you well know m'lud I am a sinner; I suffer from an addiction to books. The lure of the knowledge and information held within them is beyond the power of a mere mortal to resist.

Whe they arrive here at my house I shall burrow free from whichever prison cell I am incarcerated, take pictures (wiping off the dribble first) and share with the court.